Suicide Notes

Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Caleb-

I sat on a barstool, ripping lettuce into a bowl for a small salad to go with our meal. Anna and I were the only ones eating here tonight; Rick and Riley were having dinner on Bainbridge Island with their parents and Stix had the late shift serving at the Italian restaurant where he worked.

My eyes never left Anna for very long, watching her as she stirred the pot of Mac-n-Cheese. She'd also boiled the chicken breasts she'd insisted on getting. I knew she was trying to give me something else to eat that I would like better than the cheesy pasta. She was always so considerate.

Looking so natural cooking in my house, it seemed as if she should live here too. She and Jessi had spent most of their free time here, something that both pleased and annoyed me. I knew Anna was part of the band and wanted to be included in everything we did, but we'd had some rowdy parties on occasion. I always suggested they go chill in my room together. It drove me insane to see the way other guys would ogle them, like I wasn't sitting right there, watching. Panic and I had become close friends once I realized it was my responsibility to keep these girls safe. They were way too young to be hanging with that crowd, but I couldn't deny them the right to be there either. Jessi was escaping her home life as much as possible, the same as me, and Anna belonged here as part of our group. It made sense, but it was difficult nevertheless.

Remembering back to the day Jessi convinced me to let Anna audition for the lead singer of Fringe, I smiled slightly. We'd started out with another guy who'd suddenly moved away with his girlfriend, leaving us in a lurch. We performed regularly for different events, getting paid for them too, so we needed to find a replacement fast. Unable to fill the spot with someone we all could agree on, we let Anna audition. I did it mostly to humor Jessi, so she'd leave me alone. There was no way we were going to allow some high school chick into the band—even if she was Jessi's best friend and a girl I'd known almost all my life.

Then Anna opened her mouth and blew us all away. From high soprano to low alto, her range was incredible; but it was the emotion in her crystal clear voice that sold us all. She made the music real in a way that stabbed our listeners right in the heart. Anyone who heard her walked away carrying pieces of her in their soul. It was unanimous—she was in.

Adjusting songs, as needed, to fit her range, we began playing again, and drawing even bigger crowds. This year, we'd landed a permanent gig at Subculture, a local bar that fit with our techno grungy emotional sound. There was only one problem—Anna was only eighteen.

Stix managed to get a fake ID made and we gave it to Billy, the owner of the club. I knew he didn't believe for a minute that Anna was twenty-one, but the ID was good enough to cover his butt legally; so he looked the other way. He wanted her in there too—she was packing the house every night we played. Of course, this meant I had to work even harder to keep guys away from her, but it was worth it. She was amazing.

Staring at her now, I realized she'd become such a huge part of my life. I couldn't imagine her not being around.

"What are your plans after you graduate?" I asked, suddenly fearing that we might lose her—that I might lose her.

She glanced over her shoulder at me, before turning back to stir the pot. "I thought I might register for a few classes at UW. I want to stay close by so I can still sing with you."

Relief flooded through me. "That sounds awesome. What are you going to major in?"

She chuckled. "Music. You should know that."