"I love you." She whispered. Her words, traced in a cloud from her breath, danced through the cold air. They were warm against his skin.
Jack Striker felt his insides go numb. And it wasn't from the cold. His hands shook where they were locked around her, holding her close. He let his eyelids fall closed for a moment and then leaned forward to kiss her. His lips trembled on hers and he knew she could tell. When they separated again, she looked up at him, concern filling her bright blue eyes.
"What's wrong?" She asked, softly. The first snowflakes started to fall around them, as they stood locked in embrace, in the middle of an empty parking lot. It was nighttime but with the cloudy gray sky above them it was hard to tell.
"Nothing." Jack said, too quickly. He turned his head away. He couldn't look her in the eyes. He couldn't bare to see that look of genuine concern she held for him. That look of worry and wonder in her eyes, when she looked at him. All because she cared for him. And loved him. But if she only knew...
"Are you cold?" She asked. She didn't wait for his answer and instead wrapped her arms around him, slipping them underneath his jacket. He could feel her small hands and fingers through the thin material of his shirt. She was warm and gentle. He pulled her closer and she laid her head on his chest.
She was small compared to Jack. Even with his broad-shoulders and athletic build, he towered over her at 6'2". He has a fairly slender frame, but it still made her seem tiny. She stood at about 5'5", not exactly short but on the smaller end. Her arms barely reached around his torso.
"You're warm." She breathed into his shirt. Jack brought one hand up and put in behind her head, holding her against him. He closed his eyes and just held her for a few moments. Her breathing was in time with his and he could almost feel her small heartbeat against his stomach.
Jack did this everytime. And everytime, he felt a new and stronger pang of guilt, a pain in his chest that was eating him alive. It ripped his heart apart, bit by bit, the longer it dragged on. He feared the inevitable.
He cried every time as well.
Very slowly he pulled the knife out of his belt on his back. She didn't move or even seem to know what was happening. His hands shook as he angled the tip of the blade over the spot on her back where it would be driven straight into her heart. He had the spot memorized.
Jack closed his eyes one more time and held her. He kissed the top of her head and breathed her in. His stomach was in knots and his heart pounded in his chest so loud, he was sure she could hear it. But she didn't move. She held onto him, and breathed him in. He could feel her lay small kisses on his chest, mumbling things.
If he didn't do it now, he never could. As quickly and as steady as he could, he brought the knife down. He heard her gasp in pain. The knife came back out cleanly and immediately blood seeped onto her jacket. She was fumbling against him and managed to push herself away.
Jack caught her before she could fall and he very slowly laid her on the ground. Kneeling beside her, he could feel the tears finally spilling. He hated it. He would rather burn in Hell for all eternity then watch this over and over again. He tried to numb the emotions, stop feeling. But he couldn't. He never could.
He looked into her eyes, expecting to see a look of horror or hatred, but as always in her bright blue eyes, there was only a look of confusion. They still held that same concern she always felt for him, that caring warmth.
"I love you." He whispered. His voice was rough with tears. It shook as he spoke. "I always will." He wanted to die. "I'm...so sorry."
She mouthed his name, but it caused too much pain and took too much strength. And again he saw the light leave her eyes. Her body went still, her breathing came to stop, and her heart beat one last time.
Jack's cries became sobs as he laid his head against her still chest. He cried and cried. He didn't stop until the pain gnawing at his insides subsided and he was able to think a bit clearly again. He wasn't sure how long he had sat, bent over her, but the snow had started to gather more on the ground around them. He looked up and saw two figures walking towards him. He knew who they were. He closed his eyes and waited for them to come up to him.
"Get up, Jack Striker." Came the same response in that deep cold voice belonging to his "caretaker". Jack remained where he sat.
There was a loud, drawn out sigh. "Fine, have it your way." The man paced around, Jack could hear his boots crunch on the freshly fallen snow. "It's over. It's done. Let it be, Jack, honestly. You act as if it's the end of the world." Jack remained silent. "There are some other matters we must discuss, but that can wait until later. As for now, I will begin to restart your punishment and be on my way."
The man put a hand on Jack's bent head and muttered something under his breath. Jack felt that strange sensation again. It felt like he jumped off a 100 foot cliff into ice cold water. And then he felt nothing. His "caretaker" stepped back and Jack only assumed he had left.
Jack had forgotten about the other boy, until he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, man. It's not worth the pain. Like he said, It's done."
Unwillingly, Jack got to his feet. Standing next to him was Jared Rose. He looked the same: dark hair a styled mess, leather jacket, boots covered in dirt. Except tonight, the normal mischievous glint in his green eyes was gone, replaced by one of sadness. Though he would try hard to hide it.
"How was it?" Jack asked, him.
Jared stuck his hands in his pockets and ran a tongue over his teeth. "Same as always. You?"
"Worse." Jack mumbled. He glanced at where her body should have been, but was it was no longer there. There wasn't even a blood stain.
"I don't know, man." Jared said. "I think you focus too much on the bad parts, the punishment. I mean what's so bad about having someone fall for you over and over. I mean you have a girl who would literally do anything for you. And you have a lot of opportunities." He smirked. "Even for some serious messing around, if you know what I mean."
Jack shook his head. "No, I won't do that her. I want her to have as much of a choice as possible."
"And she will always choose you." Jared said in a small voice.
"It's not fair."
"Not it isn't."
"They're so innocent..."
"I know."
Jack gave Jared a questioned look.
"What?"
"You're agreeing with me?" Jack asked.
Jared sighed. "Of course I am. Just because I like to joke around with this stuff doesn't mean I don't care. I have a heart, you know."
They were quiet for a few moments. Standing in silence, watching the snowfall and the flakes swirl in the air. Jack tried to catch a few on his tongue, but it wasn't working. After a while he brushed some of it out of his hair and off his jacket. Jared was kicking it into piles in front of him, his boots were almost completely white.
"It really isn't fair." Jared said after a while. His voice sounded stressed and shaky. Jack realized he was on the verge of crying. "You know what I dread most? I dread that look she gives me. That look so full of pure love and trust. She looks at me like I'm the best thing that ever happened to her. If she only knew....If she knew..."
"She wouldn't believe it." Jack finished.
Jared sighed. His breath came out shaky. He was trying not to break down. "You know I've been thinking."
"Did it hurt?" Jack teased.
Jared just glared at him but continued." What if we said we've had enough. What if we just decide we're done."
"What do you mean?" Jack knew perfectly well what Jared was talking about. It was just too complicated and dangerous to think about.
Jared licked his lips. "I mean what if we stopped doing this. Stopped following the rules of finding the girl, making her fall in love, and then killing her?"
"We can't." Jack said. "She would come after you anyway."
"Yes, but what if we could escape the punishment altogether?"
Jack's eyebrows drew together. "Jared, you know that's impossible. We have to live our time. It was all apart of the deal."
"Screw that shit." Jared said. "We don't deserve this! We did nothing wrong and you know that."
"We broke laws." Jack muttered.
Jared laughed without humor. "Please tell me that's you talking. You know that's not true."
They were quiet again. It had definitely gotten colder. Jack zipped up his jacket and wondered how long they had until dawn.
"We aren't required to go through this the right way are we?" Jared asked.
Jack gave him an incredulous look. "What do you mean? Of course we have to. You and I both have tried to break the system and stay away from them but we can't. You know that." He sounded angrier than he actually was, but it wasn't really directed toward Jared. Doing this emotionally drained him even though he had gone through it thousands of times. He was taking it out on Jared.
Jared seemed unphased by Jack's anger. "I mean what if we changed it up a bit?"Jack waited for him to continue. "Rather than pursue like we are suppose to, why don't we, instead of hiding, pursue someone else."
"We can't, they'll never love us enough to break it."
Jared grinned. "The chosen girls will right? Well, what if we switched girls?"
"You're insane." Jack turned away from him.
"I'm serious. We should at least try it. What harm could that do?"
Jack was quiet for a while, thinking it over. He knew it would never work, but then again they had never tried it before. It seemed to easy to actually break the punishment and Jack didn't know if the girls would fall for it. There was something else bugging him. It was the idea of Jared pursuing his Lily. It was ridiculous since it could have her as much as he wanted, but the thought of someone else with her would cause him immense jealousy.
"No." Jack said, finally.
"Why the fuck not?" Jared said, with a crazed look in his eyes. "There's nothing they can do about it, if we switch it up a bit. I mean you're scared are you?"
Jack clenched his jaw. "I just think it would be a waste of time."
"So you'd rather kill her over and over for God knows how much longer, than just try some dumb idea that may end it forever? Do you like the pain you feel after it's done? After she's laying in your arms, dying, looking so confused because she could never believe you did this to her?" Jared asked, raising his voice.
Jack glared at him. "You know I hate it"
"Then let's try this, for God's sake." Jared begged. "We can never come into contact with the right one. We'll distract ourselves with the other. Make sense?"
Jack glanced down at his feet. The snow had created a thick layer in the pavement now. "Fine." He said, defeated. What harm could it do...
