Here and Now

Family Matters

                  Ashley's P.O.V
               *Beep,Beep,Beep*
  I slam my hand down on my alarm clock for the last time. I put my hand over my face and let out a distressed yawn. I sit up slowly hearing my bones crack from being pent up all night. I turn to my iPhone on the bedside table. I slide down the notification bar...Nothing appeared. Just how I liked it. If there's nothing there then there's nothing to worry about.
  "Ash? Are you up yet?" Kayla's voice echoes through her apartment.
  "Yes...why?" I yell back down.
  "Get up! We have to start preparing for the day!"
  "What? Why?" I get no response from Kayla. "Kayla! What are we doing?... Ugh!"
  I jump out of bed and walk downstairs to confront Kayla. Continuing into her living room to the kitchen I couldn't help but to stop and inhale for some reason. Even though i've slept over at Kayla's countless nights, and practically live here, something took ahold of me. I never really noticed how much New York apartments resembled each other. The dark color schemes and silent empty rooms reminded me of Taylor's apartment. I can't understand why but seeing and realizing the resemblance gave me this feeling in my stomach. The kind of feeling you get when you find out something that you've been planning for a while just got completely overturned. Like that time Matt had to cancel our one year anniversary plans for some A-list party. He said it was mandatory just like his love for me. My body shutters at the thought of him.
  "There you are!" Kayla pulls me into the kitchen. She had some piece of fatty meat slapped up in a metal pan. I believe it's supposed to be ham...
  "What are we doing?" I ask in a raspy morning voice.
"Um check the date love..."
I look at my phone and let out a sigh. "Thanksgiving-great."
"Yeah! It's going to be fun. My cousin you like so much is coming over." Kayla disclaims with a wink. "Oh wait, that is assuming you'll be here. What were your plans for today?"
"Well I gues-," my phone suddenly went off. I look to see who could possibly to trying to contact me right now. As I push the power button at the top of the phone my mom's name illuminates on the screen.
Mom: Hey Ashy...Please come home for at least today. I miss you so much.
I clear my throat before speaking again. "You know what, I actually think I'm going to have dinner with my family."
"Are you ready to go back and see them yet?" Kayla asks with a serious tone. It made me ponder for a bit.
"I guess I'll find out."

  Taylor's P.O.V
  "Fuck!" I scream as I stub my toe rushing around my apartment. I grab the broom I've never used before and sweep the best to my ability. I couldn't believe how much dust quickly accumulated with just a few swift movements. I frantically swept the rest of the living room. "Shit...what do I get the dust up with?" Before I can answer my own question the doorbell rings.
  "Taaaaaaylor, it's me!"
  "Be right there!" I reply.
  I sweep all off the dirt under the couch and throw the broom into the closest. I give myself a quick self inspection in the mirror by the door. My hair is in an over-the-top messy bun. I was still in my sweats from last night. If I would have been giving myself a grade for how put together I looked today I would of given myself and F put myself in remediation. Before Sloane could break the door down to I pulled it wide open and greeted her with one of my award winning fake smiles.
  "Hi sis!"
  "Eeep! Taylor!" She says throwing her arms around me and squeezing tightly.
"Come on in."
Sloane looked even more grown up than when I saw her last time. Granted it was a year ago I still feel like the time went by too fast. She had gotten taller, her hair grew longer, and even her eyes looked brighter. It always brought a smile to my face to see my sister in such good shape. She's always been the happy child and for that I'm grateful. Mostly because she never had to go through anything I did.
I took her stuff and set her coat on the recliner then ran her heavy luggage I could barely carry upstairs. For 5 weeks she brought 2 suitcases and 4 bags. One time it only took me one suitcase to pack for a years worth of touring. Sloane wastes no time making herself comfortable and sets herself on the couch. She motions me over to her and I take a seat next to her.
" I don't even know where to start! So you first, what's new with you?"
I didn't really know what to say. I couldn't tell her the truth, which was that I've just basically wallowed in my self pity ever since I got off tour.
"Ah you know the usual. Music,writing,petal,Alie,sleep."
"Hey where is Alie today?"
"Probably with her boyfriend or family."
"Ah I see...you have a boyfriend yet?" Sloane raised the question along with her eyebrows.
"Ha-shouldn't I be asking you that?"
"Well I've met a boy or two. Now how about you?"
I shift around nervously and begin fidgeting with my thumbs. What was I supposed to say? She probably wouldn't be happy to hear that I had just been filling my night with random strangers that came in and out of my life faster than they came in and out of me.
"Yeah not much is going on in that department."
"Nothing at all?" Sloane asked with suspicion.
"Nope. Hey, how are Mom and Dad?"
"Ah the smooth subject change. But if you must know they really miss you and wish you would call."
"Well apparently I wasn't smooth enough with that change." I mumble under my breath.
"What was that?"
"Oh nothing....oh shit. I forgot to cook something for dinner!"
"You forgot?....Taylor how did you forget about Thanksgiving? I thought you didn't have much going on lately?" Sloane was starting to look more and more concerned.
"I was cleaning! That's why I forgot."
"You cleaned by yourself Tay? How did that go?"
"I think it went pretty well actually." I try to convince Sloane and myself. Sloane crosses her arms and raises her eyebrows even more fierce than last time.
"So if I peak my head under the couch right now I won't find any dirt?"
"I uh ...heh. You see I didn't have anything to sweep the dirt up with and..." I trail off. What more could I say? Sloane has been able to point out my bullshit since we were kids.
"I'm guessing you have nothing in your refrigerator?"
"What do you think..." I ask with my head looking down.
"Come on let's go to the store and pick up some food. We'll try to recreate some Thanksgiving dinner together."

                                                                                         ...

Laughter fills my living as Sloane and I bring up past Thanksgivings with the family.
"Oh and the one year the Turkey fell right on your lap and we couldn't stop laughing." Sloane added.
"Haha! It was just funny to see Mom so pissed over something she didn't even cook." I laugh and took another sip of my wine.
"I think your wine is getting to me Tay my head is spinning."
"Aw you're a lightweight." I joke with my younger sister.
"Well it's hard to go out and do that kind of stuff with Mom and Dad constantly putting their selves in my business."
"Yeah I understand how that is."
Sloane then seemed to change her mood entirely as she flashed me an aggressive look.
"Do you really though Taylor? Look I get it your life was hard just like mine was but you just fucking left. Even if you were going through hard times because you kept picking shitty people to get involved in your love life, but fuck! That wasn't a reason to leave your family behind. And who knows! Maybe if you hadn't left you wouldn't be so fucking depressed like you are now! I mean did we matter at all to you? Does your real family matter one bit to you?"
I was stunned. Sloane had never lectured me like that. At least not in such a harsh manner. I just looked at her with my mouth wide open. Was she right? Could I really have been happier by staying with my family longer than I did?
Closing my mouth and directing my attention to Sloane's 4th empty wine glass, I calmly removed it from her hands. I told myself it must have been the wine and I won't blame her for it this time.
"So uh...you know where the guest room is. Goodnight."
I walked to my room and laid down. Being in complete silence for the  as my sister's words circled through my head the whole night. But just before I drifted to sleep...I found myself wondering what Ashley had done today and if she was thinking about me too.

Ashley's P.O.V

*Say my name, say my name. When no one is around you say baby*
Kayla's Destiny's Child ringtone really wasn't setting the mood for me right now. Walking through the alleys of Brooklyn always reminded me of my home. Which made me sick to my stomach...and made me feel even worse knowing I just spent the whole day walking around the streets debating on whether or not to go back home. I started crying and had another breakdown thinking about returning and having to make up some story on where I had been instead of telling them the truth about the psych ward. After that I just knew I couldn't see them right now.
"Hello? Ash?"
"Oh Kayla! Finally you picked up."
"What's up?"
"I'm coming back to the apartment now. Just letting you know so you can leave the door unlocked for me."
"I thought you were spending the night with your family."
"Oh well I didn't wind up going. I was too afraid of what they would say to me or what I might accidentally say to them."
There was a long silence after that. I looked at my phone to see the call was still ongoing. The Brooklyn street lights got dimmer but continued to light up the sidewalk for me. I waited for Kayla to say something else but there was just nothing coming from her it. It made me stop in my tracks to see if she would ever say anything. But I realized I would have to break the silence.
"Kayla?"
"I can't fucking believe you Ashley. You stood up your own family. I don't care what you're going through it's no reason to completely ignore your family. And you know what. No. I'm not leaving the door unlocked. You are going to go home and talk to your family and finally tell them everything. Im so sick of this. They haven't ever judge you Ashley. Not even when they found out you were bi. There's no reason to hide anymore."
"Well I'm not going back home."
"Oh yes you are."
"Ha okay." I hang up my phone without saying another word to her. I tried so hard to not let the tears run down my face. I can say Kayla has been there for me until this point. I knew I couldn't go back to Kayla's and I certainly wasn't going to confront my family. So took a walk down memory lane...and decided to stay on the streets tonight.