Eyes of the Dead

Chapter 1

Standing among the citizens like I'm one of them is one of the biggest battles I face every day. I still see the flash of the enemy bombs lighting up our so called trenches, I remember the sound of the bullets shooting through my sniper-rifle and the sound of children screaming over and over inside my head.

These are the beginnings of the battle I face, working in a normal environment is even harder because you want to be normal. You still want to have a life, but the battlefield calls your name like a sweet song no one can refuse and the adrenaline begins pulsing through your veins.

"The world has no place for soldiers- I mean people like me here" I begin "My kind belongs in the most dangerous places you can imagine, with bullets falling over our heads and striking fear into the enemy's hearts... all to protect our family at home"

I look at the psychiatrist sitting in front of me, watching her hand as she scribbles down everything I'm saying. If only she knew the extent of my damage.

"And where would you go? To be normal Miss Burton?" she asks, looking at me through her spectacles.

"Back to the battlefield ma'am" I answer defiantly "that's where I was created, it's where I belong"

A strong, heavy silence hung in the room as she contemplated her next question, so I killed it.

"I don't want to be here anymore, I hated normal life before and every normal day is driving me insane now" I admitted, tears rolling down my cheeks as a sign of the first feelings I've had in months.

"Miss Burton, I know this is hard for you but you can't go back... not with your condition now"

"I have a choice" I stated quickly, handing her the letter from my staff sergeant "they need me back in the ranks, to shoot the enemy dead square through the eyes"

The psychiatrist cringed and looked up from the letter, she hated that I went into detail about my kills but she didn't ever stop me from saying it. Her eyes looked dead square into mine as she straightened out her posture, and something shot between us in those few seconds. Regret.

"look I dont want to keep you here in this state of misery" she explained "but I cant let you get deployed again, last time you hardly came back alive and without my psychiatric approval you can't go"

"Liz please" I began, reaching out and taking the letter from her hands "I need to do this, so I can have a future, a family... heck even a job, but I have to find where I left myself".

I was praying internally that she'd see I was in pain, and that this was inevitable.

She and I had once been very close, we had been in training together, and shooting endless rounds of bullets from our guns. But unlike me she decided to stay away from the field, and become a professional psychiatrist in the Armed Forces instead.

Sometimes I think she made the right choice, but then again there is no right choice to war... only tough choices we all have to make whether it's signing our death document, or killing a supposedly innocent person in the heat of the moment.

Everyone's war is different but in the end they're all the same... no winner, two losers and a shit load of death in between.

"Look Madi" she murmured softly "I'm not stopping you going back, but I don't want you to come back worse or in a body bag for that matter"

Our eyes met again and I could see that she was practically begging me inside not to go, to leave that wretched world behind.

"This is something I have to do Liz" I apologised, knowing that I was re-iterating my previous point "in order to have peace with myself I have to find where I got lost first"

I got up from the uncomfortable chair and began walking to the door of her office, until something inside nagged me to look back at my dear friend.

She had tears rolling down her cheeks and her perfect porcelain exterior had broken down. I sighed as my own tears fell then stepped out of the office, leaving behind a piece of my soul that I'd never get back.

Stopping about five or six meters from the office door I hesitantly turned and looked back. Taking out my notebook and pen I began to write a final letter to my best friend.

"...I promise you Liz, I'll come home safely..."

I went back, slid it under her door, hearing the soft whimpers from her crying, turned away and walked out of the medical centre... straight to the deployment office, and to my unknown fate.

a/n

hey guys,

this is something new I've decided to do so I hope you like it :) i'm back in school atm so really busy, but never too busy to keep posting for you guys aha

stay lovely all of you

~CypherdenJR14 out~