We entered the sewers. Torches were lighting the underground tunnels. Miranda held my hand. We finally came to a stop. It was them. The Hell Fire Club. But on the wall was a naked Zoe... The leader of the group was next to her. "All men form a fire line!" About a hundred men lined up... To sperm inside of my adopted sister!!! I shot the second person in line and I grabbed a sword off the wall. I began to hack away at people who got near Zoe while Miranda shot at people.
Zoe: you came! Just in time!
Me: I'd never let assholes fuck you.
Zoe: this is actually the first time they tried this...
Me: wow...
People overwhelmed Miranda and ripped her clothes off.
Me: keep your hands off my wife!
I killed them all.
I gave Miranda her clothes.
Miranda: WIFE?!!!?
Me: oh yea... Miranda.... I know this sounds Disney like, and Disney sucks shit, but will you marry me?
Miranda: of course.
We killed the last of everyone. Even the leader was gone. I got Zoe off the wall and police arrived and arrested US for murder, but they let us free after they realized we are heroes!! That is my tale. Did you guys like hearing the story of how I met your mother?
Son: I'm never going to look at you the same ever again.
Other son: how old are you?
Me: 24. Your mom is 23.
Daughter: but I'm the oldest sibling.. You had me when you were 14?! I'm gonna puke!!!
Miranda: are you torturing our children with the story of our love?
Me: well technically it's just a child because... Our sons were accidents remember?
Son: I hate my life. Fuck you dad.
Me: you'd like that wouldn't you dude? Your mom sure did!
Daughter: I'm jumping off a bridge now.
Other son: I'm gonna go get married.
Me: at least one child takes after me.
Miranda: yes, but you've murdered hundreds of people.
Me: all for you and Zoe.
