Vee.

Both the Beginning & the End

His gaze was all that I wanted, all that I could ever hope for... He was everything to me, and I didn't know how to tell him. Instead, I merely sat by him on the couch a nice two times and tried to make conversation over the cheese pizza we had ordered for the party. He just wasn't responding the way I had wanted him to, the way I had imagined this millions of times before before I drifted off to sleep.
The other people at the party all had boyfriends and girlfriends, so I was either a third wheel or hung out with Vee. I chose Vee, as I would countless more times in the years to come. He always had this distant look on his face, his eyes seemingly miles away and his mouth in a firm grimace. I wondered vaguely what I had done wrong, if I had done anything at all, what could possibly make him suddenly lose interest in me.
I caught a few stares now and then, each one giving me butterflies and making my heart soar. Maybe, just maybe, it was all a mistake? Maybe he wasn't so far away, maybe he wasn't in love with someone else. Maybe it was me.
Finally, the end of the party was drawing near. I never imagined waiting for that moment. I had always imagined me at that party, hanging on the edge of a kiss, drunk on Mountain Dew... With Vee by my side, there would be no end. The party would go on and on.
But Vee, he didn't want me. He never did, and I was naive for thinking someone so beautiful, so precious, so cherished would want anything to do with me at all. Who would? I was a poor girl whom wasn't popular in the least. I don't feel the need to explain any further.
As I rushed out to the car where my sister was waiting for me, I heard a somewhat loud voice calling me in the distance. I skidded, stopping, turning to look around, not knowing what to expect to see. Was it the love of Vee's life waiting to rub his disinterest in my face? Maybe another couple, joined at the hip, holding bottles of beer in their hands and shouting, "Thanks for coming" in their groggy midnight, rusty voices before getting slobbered on by a flurry of kisses.
But no. It was Vee.
Vee rushed towards me, still softly saying my name although I had heard him the many times before, his arms awkwardly out to the side like he was about to fly off into the pitch-black night sky which was full of stars. Men are from Mars, I thought with a small chuckle to myself. I stared into his beyond light blue eyes and scanned over his face. Any new freckles? Another mosquito bite he was so greatly known for?
But no. It was the same face that I had fallen in love with many years before. I wanted to smile but kept myself from doing so because I knew it was not mine, nor would it ever be mine.
He had light blue eyes that might as well have been white with cute freckles dotting his nose. His light brown, somewhat shaggy hair shined in the moonlight and went over his left eyebrow just a little bit. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed before, but there was a small stubble, almost like a beard, growing on his chin and I winced. Although I had never been one for facial hair, Vee made it seem reckless and carelessly handsome. But who was I to study something so far away so closely with my glasses that helped with my near-sightedness?
Vee was almost gasping as he reached me, a small frown forming on his face as he studied me a little bit harder. I was slumped, my look pure stone. Why was he looking at me so closely? Why would he want to?
"Listen, Blakely," he told me, his voice a whisper. "I'm sorry I haven't been talking to you. I just don't know how."
I let my gaze soften just the slightest bit, but I remained slumped and kept my eyebrows furrowed. "That doesn't mean you can't try," I said with haste. I loved him so, so much.
His old grin finally came back as he studied me a tad more closely, and I moved my shoulders back not to make my breasts look bigger, but to make me look as confident as I wasn't. Maybe he would like a confident girl.
"I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time," he said with a sigh before bringing his hands to his hair, and I moved my eyes to his and kept them there. It was like a little hurricane was going on inside them, his speckles like millions of stars swirling like thoughts with no constellations, his pupils dilated where there was more black than anything else in them right then...
"Tell me what?" I said, lowering my voice to sound a tad more sincere. I was acting like I wasn't hopelessly in love with him, and though he demolished my dreams, my feelings toward him could only grow from there.
"I've been loving you for a long, long time." He reached down the slightest just to tuck a strand of my hair past my ears... I grinned. This wasn't happening, this wasn't possible... No way.
It is impossible to describe the feelings that took hold of me. I pulled him into a hug rather aggressively and sniffed his sweater... He smelled like coconuts and cinnamon... I could inhale him all day long.
Both inhaling him and smoking him hold the same feelings, but different amounts of damage.
He pulled away ever so softly, as if I were a precious work of art not to be messed with. Vee's eyes locked with mine. "Have you ever kissed anyone?"
"I don't know how," I said grimly. I wanted to kiss him, but I didn't want to embarrass myself.... Besides, the feelings were just too much. How could I focus on anything other than just loving him and being loved in return?
"That doesn't mean you can't try," he said quickly with a wide smile before pulling me into a short, but infinite, kiss...
His lips smashed onto mine and fireworks exploded in my stomach... He was kissing me. Could my life get any better? I didn't think it could. He tasted like cinnamon, too, and I knew that I would never be able to smell cinnamon without thinking of his caress again.
I thought to myself, some stories do have a happy ending, after all. But then I remembered: the story wasn't over.