Until My Death t.m.

Until My Death

One month earlier

Toby's P.O.V.

"Do I really have to go with you?" I asked Connor as he dragged me into the car.

"Please Toby? I don't like going by myself."

"Fine. But just because I'm an awesome little brother and because you're going to buy me Starbucks on the way home."

"Deal."

I hopped into the passenger seat and Connor got into the drivers seat. I turned the radio up and started singing along.

As I was expecting Connor to turn right, he went straight.

"Um... Connor?"

"Yes?"

"It would be a lot quicker if you had turned right."

"I don't go down that street."

"Why not?"

"Why wouldn't I want to?"

I thought about what's down that street. The park, the eye doctor. And... Louise's house.

"Oh..."

"Yeah."

"Sorry."

The rest of the ride was quiet, except for the sound of the radio which was playing some overplayed song. We pulled up to the therapist's office.

A lot has changed since Louise died. Connor has been going to see a counselor. He's not depressed or anything, he's just afraid that he will be if he doesn't see a counselor. I'm happy that he has chosen to see a therapist, even though he absolutely hates it. I don't think I could handle seeing Connor sad more than I already have.

My gaze averted to his wrists. He caught me staring and frowned. He hates when people do that. He doesn't like being reminded that it happened, which I totally understand.

"Toby, please stop."

"I'm sorry. Lets just get inside," I said and got out of the car. Connor followed my action and we went inside the office.

"Connor McDonough for Dr. Rayn," Connor said to the receptionist.

"She will be right out. Please take a seat."

"Thank you."

After a few minutes, a lady came out of a room and called Connor's name. He went with her and I was left alone in the waiting room to, well, wait.

I waited for 10...15..20...30...45...60 minutes. 1 hour.

I don't know why Connor couldn't just come by himself. Or take Riley.

Finally, he came out of the room. I stood up and we left.

"Lets go to Starbucks!"

Connor started the engine and we left.

While we were driving, Connor drove right past Starbucks.

"Connor, you passed Starbucks."

"Can we go to a different Starbucks?"

"Okay." I said. I've learned that when Connor says stuff like this, it usually means its related to Louise. A lot of things make him think of Louise. He told us that his counselor told him to stay away from things that remind him of her, but personally I think he should face his problems instead of running away from them. I'm not a therapist so I'll just stay out of it.

Of course I got my usual and we headed home. We were on break so we weren't living in a tour bus.

"You guys are back already?" Our mom asks us as we walk through the door.

"What do you mean? That took forever. I was bored out of my mind!"

"Sorry Tobes. Hopefully the drink repays you."

"Yeah it's great," I said and gave him a small smile. "I'm going to go for a walk"

"Ok be back for dinner," my mom says to me.

"Can I come with you?" Riley asks. I didn't even realize he was in the room.

"Yeah I was just gonna go to the park."

"Cool with me."

"Ok let me grab and jacket first." I ran to my room and grabbed a light jacket to keep me warm. I ran back out and Riley and I headed off.

"Why did you want to come with me?" I asked Riley after we had been walking for a while.

"Just needed to get away from home for a while."

"That's nice. Now the real reason?"

"I'm worried. About Connor."

"Who isn't?"

"Whenever I'm in the car with him he turns a five minute trip into a half hour trip. I get that he's staying away from things that remind him of Louise like the therapist told him, but still. I feel like he's not improving," Riley complained.

"Maybe these things just take time. We just have to assume that the therapist knows what they're doing."

"I wish there was something we could do to help."

"Same. Maybe he just needs to figure things out by himself."

"It's been like two years, how much longer does he need?" Riley questioned. I kind of did agree with him, but I wasn't going to start getting mad at my heart broken brother.

"We don't know what it's like to lose the girl we love, so I don't think we really have any right to say anything about this."

"You're right. I'm just a concerned little brother."

"We both are."

We arrived at the park and both headed to the swings. We just sat there and talked for a while, joking around.

"I bet I can get higher than you!" I said to Riley and started pumping my legs to get the swing going higher.

"Considering the fact that the swings can only go a certain hight, I think you can't."

"Oh really? Than why am I winning right now?"

"Alright. You're on." he said and started pumping. We got to the point where no one could go any higher.

"I think I won!" I yelled to Riley, knowing very well that neither of us did.

"Whatever."

"Ha," I said and kicked my feet back trying to get even higher, but as my feet went back I felt then collide with someone's head.

A/n~ haha I suck at updating