" I promise, it will work. I'll do anything"
He wrapped his hands around my waist and kissed my forehead.
It's was almost two years since the last time I saw Sebastian, my boyfriend. He needed to go to another country to finish his studies with his family. We're only junior high school at that time and now I'm a 1st year college student and we still haven't seen each other.
I'm really thankful to those people who invited technologies especially laptops, tablets, smart phones and etc. because just one click, or maybe not? anyways i can still saw him though i prefer the 3d version of him but unfortunately 6 months ago while i was walking back home from a study group a man suddenly appears and threatened me that if I don't give him my laptop he will kill me. HOW DARE! Of course I don't care, taking my laptop away from me is also like killing me you know? It's not like I'm some spoiled brat rich kid, in short we only have enough money for our expenses. That is why I almost died that day.
we're like playing a tug of war but of course he won because he is so much stronger.
I cried so hard that night because I felt like me and Sebastian broke up but we find ways so, thanks to line and cellphone because we still have a way to communicate anytime, anywhere.
But that's the problem.
It's not about the technology or whatever, it's about the time. That's something we can't fight, change or stop.
It's either night there and it's morning here or morning there and night here but it's always the vice versa. See?
Sometimes I felt like I don't really have a boyfriend, that I'm only imagining all of this, like we're on a different dimension
But what hurts me the most is that I'm not there when he needed me.When he needed someone to lean on, someone who will wipe his tears away, someone who will be there at his side whenever his happy or sad, you know?
Sometimes I just thought so what?! If he needs someone who can lean on there's a wall and he can wipe his own tears away, by the way he always have a handkerchief with him. If he needs a hug then what's the purpose of teddy bear? He can always buy one, right? And if he needs someone who can make him laugh then why not dance in front of a mirror? Do a t-Rex dance, monkey dance or make face. I mean there's nothing wrong with it, and I do admit that sometimes I'm doing it and in fairness somehow it's effective. Hahahaha.
But in the end of the day reality hit me. It made realized that no matter how hard I tried to tell myself that's everythings okay.
But it's not okay... everything is not okay. That if Im feeling like this, what about him? What if he feels much worse?
That in the end of the day you still need to live in the reality of life that there's things that you can't fill in someones life especially if you're not there at his side.
That is why im doing this.
I don't know if this is the right thing to do but I do know that it is for the better. For his sake.
" Hello bashy..." my nickname to him.
" Hello naty.." he replied with his sweet voice.
Natalie is my name but he always call me naty.
" You do know how much I love you right?"
" of course naty, and you do know how much I love you too right? " I know his smiling right now.
I know but you deserve much better.
Instead I replied " and you do know that I will do everything to make you happy, right?"
