This is me
Up late, thinking about everything that's going wrong.
Constantly thinking that everything I'm doing is wrong.
I try to express my feelings to others I always end up hurting everyone.
I don't know if this is just the sad thoughts people get when they stay up, or just my real thoughts.
Finally escaping my mind.
Last night, I lost a best friend but I feel no pain.
Suddenly I feel numb, no emotion, and no pain.
Just pure silence
Which could be bad or good, depending on what this silence leads me to do.
People think I'm pretty, beautiful, and sometimes random people tell me that during class or in the hallways.
But I can't seem to believe it
Oh and I constantly feel stressed about school
And liking people.
It gets so hard and my mind feels like collapsing.
Sometimes I wish I didn't have emotion so I don't have to deal with getting hurt.
I feel so lost
Like no one gets me, or even understands me
It's so so hard waking up without a purpose, nothing keeping me going.
I know sometimes I might seem like a bad person to friends, family ,etc.
But I just can't seem to find the right words when talking.
I hate it
I hate hurting people
I hate when others hate me
I don't want to do anyone any harm
This is so fucking hard
Not being able to sleep, so much circling my mind.
The only thing I do now is listen to music
Think
Think
And keep fucking thinking
I need to get away from my mind
Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy again, but honesty
Who knows where I'm going from here
