Living Her Life

Chapter 1 - Beginning At The End

                      21st May 2016

  •Demi's POV•
I looked at myself in the mirror, a handsome, polished young woman stood before me in a deep black dress and and matching shoes. Her eyes were sunken and dull despite the tears brimming, waiting to fall and never stop. I didn't recognise this girl standing in my shoes yet she was me and I her.

It had been just over a year since Matilda's death, a year since I lost the other half of my body. We spent every moment together as children, every memory I have I associated with her; my first time riding a bike, losing my first tooth, everything. I brushed a spec of dust off my jacket and stepped away from my unsettling image. I couldn't bear to look at myself. How could I have lasted a year like this, pretending to be someone I'm not, assuming their life with the blink of an eye.

I heard a car draw up outside. Peeking out the window I saw a black saloon car and my uncle waiting in the front seat. Mum called up the stairs reminding me it was time, time to finally address the shadow that has been following me for the past year. I trudged down the stairs, past my weeping mother and grandmother, and into the car. I was joined by the rest of my family, all in black smart outfits. Not one person spoke all the way to the cemetery, thoughts filling the car like a invisible gas, making it impossible for me to breathe. When we arrived, there were other lingering by his grave, friends, family, acquaintances. They were all there to pay their respects to a dearly beloved girl who didn't make it to womanhood, little did they know they were mourning the loss of the wrong twin. Today was our 21st birthday and I'm celebrating alone.

We joined the crowd and lay flowers by her plaque. A minute silence was held by all present. Although only we were silent, it felt as if the whole world stopped spinning for a moment and played their respects. No birds sang in the surrounding trees, no leaves rustled in the breeze. After a minute my parents said a few words, addressing the audience.

"Today we are here to wish happy birthday to our darling child Demi. She died one year and four days ago but she still remains in our hearts. Mattie would like to say a few words about her sister before we return to the celebrations."

All the crowd looked toward me as a stepped up, beside the headstone. I cleared my throat, my hand clamming up as I realised what effects my words would have on the congregation.

"We all were deeply shocked at the death of my sister last year. It was an accident and the paramedics said they did all they could to resuscitate her but she could not be saved. Ever since then you have all believed that Demi died in that accident but I have to tell you something, something that is going to be hard for you all to hear." I wiped my palms nervously on my skirt, my eyes skimming over the onlooking faces. Many of them had begun whispering among themselves as I paused, trying to grasp the right words. "Um ... It is true that one of us died in the accident but it wasn't Demi, Matilda was the one who died."

The crowd gasped and shifted away from me as I continued talking. "I'm sorry I've misled you all for so long but I couldn't find the right time or way to tell you. I've been living as Mattie ever since and I'm ashamed of myself. Judge me as much as you like but I can't take back any of my actions, all I can do now is put it right."

I finished my speech staring at the ground, I couldn't meet their accusing stares. I turned my back on them and started running, I didn't know where to. I kept running until my legs couldn't take me any further. I stopped and slumped on the floor where I stood. I sat for what seemed like hours staring at the road in front of me, watching the cars go past. Every time a car went past, I was back at the crash site watching Halden be carted off into an ambulance. I swiped tears away from my eyes and stood up. I missed her so much, all I want was to be with her no matter where.

The pavement began clouding up due to the tears spelling from my eyes. But through the tears a pair of approaching lights caught my attention. An oncoming truck lit up the street. I laughed, how poetic. Why shouldn't I end it the same way she did? The scarlet truck was getting ever nearer. Five seconds away. Four seconds away. Three seconds away. Two se....

I stepped out into the road chin high, my face titled towards the sky, searching the stars for my sister's face. I couldn't see him but instead I saw the Gemini constellation, I knew once the impact came I would be back with her, I would be whole again. The stars shone like fireflies on a hot summer's night. It was beautiful, no clouds to be seen for miles, I couldn't have wanted it any other way. A twinge of guilt hit me as I remembered my parents but they would understand, that's their job. As my final moments closed in I held onto the image of my sister, still sharp in my mind, we would be together soon. Together forever.

The truck braked too late, hitting my body full impact. The pain only lasted a short while. Memories flooding back, I didn't struggle. The quicker I was with Pollux the better. The driver came into my blurring vision, speaking words in attempt to keep me alive.

"It's ok, tell my family I said sorry."

My eyelids drooped as the light behind my eyes darkened, the whole world turning into a shade of grey. This was my end, my final hoorah. I kissed goodbye to my life and sank away into the ground, leaving everything behind me.