Fix You

A/N: Well here is yet another post-season three finale piece. I'm not giving up on my other one but my sister Nikki is pretty busy so we haven't really had time to work on it. Anyways the other night I couldn't sleep so i was watching fan-made Caskett videos on youtube when I came across one to the song "Fix You" by Coldplay. It was so beautiful and the song worked so perfectly that I was inspired to write another fan fic using the song as a guideline. There is going to be 29 chapters; one for every line of the song. I warn you now I am not a medical expert so if I mess something up it's because i just winged it. I know everyone is probably tired of post-finale fics but I really hope you will take time to read mine. Also I really really love reviews. They inspire me to write more. One more thing, this story is just by me; my sister Nikki is not a part of it.

I do not own either Castle or Fix You (although I wish I did).

~Rose

Chapter One

"When you try your best but you don't succeed"

Castle:

It was too bright to be a funeral. The sky was too blue, and the grass was too green. Standing around waiting to bury a friend was more painful then I had imagined it would be. I had helped Ryan, Esposito, and Beckett carry the Captain's casket in. It was an honour; showing me that I really was part of their family. All around me was the sombre faces of Montgomery's family, my family from the twelfth, my mother, and my daughter. Beckett stood stoically in her dress blues ready to start her speech.

I gave her an encouraging look and she began, "Roy Montgomery taught me what it meant to be a cop. He taught me that we are bound by our choices. We are more than our mistakes. Captain Montgomery once said to me that for us there is no victory; there are only battles. And in the end the best you can hope for is to find a place to make your stand. And if you're very lucky you find someone willing to stand with you." She looked over at me as she said that last part. I tried to give her another small encouraging smile, but it wouldn't come. "Our captain would want us to carry on the fight."

I thought I saw a flicker of light out of the corner of my eye as Beckett continued, "And even if there is..." I couldn't hear what Beckett was saying anymore. All I could do was focus on the light.

I heard the shot as I cried out, "Kate!" I ran over to her as fast as I could, knocking her down to the ground as I went. I heard gasps and cries around me but all I saw was Kate. "Kate, shhh... Kate, please, stay with me." I was begging by this point. If only I had gotten to her sooner. If only I had forced her to back down. If only I had listened to her and stayed away from her mother's case. " Stay with me Kate." It was my fault that the woman I loved was dying in my arms. I knew I had to keep talking to her; I had to try to keep her awake. "Don't leave me, please. Stay with me, okay?" I felt tears welling up in my eyes even though I knew I couldn't cry. "Kate," I choked out her name again. She was slipping away from me; I knew I wouldn't have another chance to tell her what I had been keeping from her for the past three years. I looked into her eyes and finally said it, "Kate, I love you." She looked at me, her beautiful eyes wide. I could tell she was trying to reply, but the words wouldn't come to her lips. I was too late. I had failed her. I had to say the words one more time; I needed to make sure she heard them, "I love you Kate." Her eyes slowly closed, her head falling. I really was too late.

I clung to her as the people around me scrambled. Esposito led some other cops to hunt down the shooter, Ryan called the ambulance, and Lanie ran over in our direction.

"Castle. Castle, led me through," Lanie said as sternly as she could in the current situation.

I gently pressed my lips to Kate's forehead as I rearranged her in my arms so Lanie could get to her too.

"Take off your jacket," Lanie ordered. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to do that seeing how I was still holding onto Kate. Lanie seeing my problem gently slid her own arms under Kate, allowing me to remove mine so I could take off my jacket. "Apply pressure to the wound before she starts bleeding out," Lanie told me as calmly as she could. I pressed my jacket to her chest, trying not to think about how much of her blood was on my hands. "It's going to be okay Castle," Lanie said trying to reassure me; I could tell she didn't believe it herself. I nodded at her stoically, knowing if I tried to speak I would lose it.

The EMTs got there after what felt like hours, but I know it had only been a few minutes. My jacket was soaked through with blood and my hands were sticky with it. The EMTs pushed Lanie and I out of the way as they put Kate's almost lifeless body on a stretcher.

I saw a flash of red hair as my daughter ran over to me and threw her arms around me so tightly I thought she was going to knock the wind out of me. "Dad," she cried out, "I can't believe it."

"I know sweetie. I can't either."

"Will it all be okay?" she asked burying her head into my shoulder.

"I don't know," I said telling her the truth like I always do. "Alexis, I need you and Gram to go home."

"No. We're staying with you," she argued.

I didn't have the energy to fight her so I gave her another squeeze before I said, "Okay sweetie. Get Detective Ryan to drive you and Gram over to the hospital; I'm staying with Kate."

"Okay Dad. I love you."

"I love you too."

I turned back to the ambulance where they were loading Kate. Jim Beckett was standing there looking numb. There were tears in his eyes and he was shaking. I wanted to say something to him, to comfort him in some way; but I felt too guilty about not protecting his daughter like he asked me to. "Rick," he said softly, "go with her."

I nodded to him and turned to the closest EMT, "Can I go with her?"

"Are you family?" the EMT asked me.

"Yes," Jim, Lanie, and I all answered at the same time.

"Get in then."

I sat down next to her and grabbed a hold of her pale frail looking hand with my shaky one. "You can't leave me Kate. I need you."

Lanie looked at me with sad eyes as she got in to before they closed the door and sped off to the hospital. "She'll be okay Castle; she has to be."

"She has to be," I agreed.