Chalupa Man

Badger, badger

Diego woke up in a dark room. The only light source was a small television in the corner of the room.

Diego slowly stood up from where he was  laying and walked towards the television. It was on a news channel. The woman on TV was talking about some little girl who fell down a well. Boring! Diego watched the news zoning in and out. Suddenly something caught his attention.

"A woman by the name of Taylor Swift has been handing out pills to civilians and drugging them. " said the woman on screen. "She is currently holding 3 people hostage. Police are currently attempting to free them."

The screen then showed a picture of the  woman.

"Oh, god." Diego thought to himself, "That's the lady who gave me those pills. Am I being held captive?"

"HEEEELP!" Diego screamed. "HEEEELP!"

Diego heard footsteps coming closer to the room. The door creaked as someone pushed it open. The person pointed a flashlight at Diego.

"Keep it down, would ya?" It was a woman.

Diego made a break for the door, but the woman grabbed him before he could get anywhere. Now that Diego was this close to her he could see her face. It was the lady from TV, Taylor Swift.

"Yee haw, would you stop tryin' to escape, pardna?" She asked.

"Don't talk to me, you smell like baked beans!" Diego screeched.

"I--I'm sorry. I just had dinner so..."

She held onto Diego's arms and pushed him out of the room and walked him to a different room. She shoved him inside and shut the door.

There were two other people in the room. Two women.

"We like have to like get out of here." One of them said, "Like I'm literally in such an uncomfortable situation right now."

Diego and the other woman stared at her.

"I'm Kim by the way." She continued.

"Yo wassup. I'm Iggy I be that I-G-G-Y."

She smelled like eggs.

Diego walked over to Kim.

"What wrong with her?" He asked

They both turned to her.

"Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers!" Iggy screeched spitting everywhere.

"I don't kno--" Kim started. 

"BADGER BADGER!" Iggy screamed.

"I don't kn--"

"WHEN I WIN WHEN I WIN I WIN!"

The room then got silent with only a few incoherent phrases from Igloo.