Skinny Love (Harry Styles Fanfic)

Chapter four- Advice

Cassie's POV-

Its been several days since the incident, which I'm still dazed about myself, it took at least two therapy sessions to decide i never want to return and several moments of torture listening to my mum ramble about how important i was, that i cant stand her sympathetic voice anymore.

Safe to say I'm dreading this morning, i woke up and turned to my side reading the time on my alarm clock 8:00am. I slowly dragged out of bed and walked to my dresser a few feet away and propped myself up so i could stare directly at myself in the mirror. Knowing my mum would enter the room any moment and remind me my appointment with Dr. Kelly was at 10:00am, and i was correct.

Two thumps hit the door and without waiting for an answer she propped her head around the door frame and entered. "Morning Sweetie, not long until we have to leave so be quick okay?" She had been more concerned and nicer to me ever since. "Okay, sure" she smiled and quickly left. I carried on my morning routine of drying the rest of my damp hair from the previous evening wash and getting ready without and thought and effort. I had no intention to make an effort to meet with Dr Kelly, which calling her a doctor is pretty absurd because she doesn't do anything extreme, just sits and listens to my problems and gives advice which 90 percent of the time it was lousy advice.

In no time i was ready and heading downstairs to see my mother slouched on the sofa catching up on this mornings Jeremy kyle. I hated that show, a group of people come together to judge the 'victims' who have no intention to sort out there life and instead look for sympathetic attention from the public. i take the safe option and walk past the entrance to the living room and slouch on the sofa in the dining area, scrolling through which seemed like endless posts on facebook and twitter. It passed time perfectly though because what seemed like 10 minutes was an hour and we had to leave.

The councillors offices where just a few miles away, a few miles of silence and the sound of the car engine ringing in my ears, a few miles of regretting getting up this morning. Since the session was for me to express what i want without being judged, the exact words from Dr Kelly herself mum wasn't required, thank god.  She stopped the car at the drop off section of the car park, and the same conversation occurred every time. 

"Do you want me to wait outside, just in case?" she always insisted i needed her help in some way, which i didn't. "Mum I'm not a kid anymore, I'm fine, just be here when i come out" and she nodded and drove away, the first time she needed more convincing which today I'm glad she sucked it up. I entered the building like usual signed in and shortly after Dr Kelly came and welcomed me into her office. It was plain, it was open with white walls and in the middle two sofas place directly opposite each other sat. I couldn't help but think about all the secrets that were wandering around the room. 

"Nice to see you Cassandra" she said calmly and relaxed, she walked over to the sofas and sat down and directed me over. " Its Cassie" i reminded her, i had always been picky about what people call me. "Sorry Cassie, How are you?" she deafened herself immediately.

" I'm fine i guess "

"You guess?" she raised an eyebrow which clearly indicated and deepened answer.

"I'm just tired of everything around me, tired of being empty, tired of my parents, well my dads nowhere to be seen my mum acts like I'm a child and I'm tired of myself, tired of crying about myself, tired of having nobody to talk to, tired of being the 'ill girl' tired of being empty, but i cant change"

I looked over too her so she knew i was done and she looked at me in a sympathetic way and place her hand on my knee. 

"Cassie, there's nothing wrong with being tired, and having all these emotions that need to be let out, that's what I'm here for and everyone can change with the right state of mind, you have to want to change?" 

She looked at me and i could feel the water welling up in my eyes. " I do, its just so hard and people expect so much from me" 

"Nothings ever easy, but the result at the end is worth every minute" she stopped as i grabbed a tissue from the box next to the sofa placed on a glass coffee table. I smiled and nodded waiting for her to continue the session.

"Do you have anyone that can help you take your mind of things?" 

" I have my mum and my step dad, but there either at work or at each others throats like before my dad left, or Mollie but i think i scared her to death with what happened shell never want to be with me again and i guess that's it."

"I know this will sound harsh, but force yourself to spend time with people like Mollie or even make some new friends, it will take your mind of everything and soon enough you ll be back on your feet" 

With that advice set in mind our session was over and she lent over and gave me an awkward hug and said good bye and i left and headed to the bathroom to wipe away the water trails of tears that were left behind.  

The more i thought about having to make new friends the more i felt conscious about myself and put me on edge, but i wanted to change and i told Dr Kelly i would try my hardest. 

*Okay guys hope you like this chapter sorry its short but i promise the next chapter really gets into the story so i guess its worth while. Also please share this i would love to get more reads and things but thankyou for reading

love you, mwah, Josie*