Sometimes I feel as if I live to see others smile. Not in the creepy "I love staring at people" way, but I enjoy bringing joy to others. It's not just my selfish way of doing good things like some terrible people who try to do kind things for their greater good. I just honestly and whole heartedly enjoy seeing others happy, even if I put my own personal happiness on the line.
These are just the risks of sharing emotions among others. Something like the way a superhero feels compelled to face danger to save the girl, I choose to face the personal demons of others in order to, in a way, "save" them.
I feel as if while saving others from things that were destroying them from the inside out I somewhat saved myself. While that might sound a little like a cheesy romantic comedy, those words come from the heart. Ever since I was a small child all I wanted was the happiness of others no matter the cost. I would give up everything in my possession if it meant being able to give something as simple as a smile to someone having a bad day.
As I grew older my family and those around me somehow tagged me with the nickname "heartless". It has never bothered me to the point of complaining about it but I can't agree and say that it brings me joy to be called such a terrible thing, even if it might be true.
I think I know what happened to the heart I once had as a child. I always gave a piece of my heart to those who needed it most. I gave away so much of my most precious part that there was not enough left for myself. Somehow I had managed to hand out every single piece of my heart, just to save those around me. Now as I try to function on a day to day basis all that really comes to mind is the sacrifices I have made in order to see others smile. I might be heartless but if it means that others can be happy then I would do it ten fold.
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"A smile is happiness you'll find right under your nose"
~Tom Wilson
(sorry if this is kinda short guys, I owe you)
