A long time ago, there was a kingdom. The name doesn't really matter, because I spent 20 minutes trying to come up with a good one. The king and queen were complete opposites. The king was a idiot, and the queen was elegant and intelligent. When they had a child(somehow), the queen was delighted to find that her son was smart like her.
Growing up, the prince faced many difficulties, like the fact that his mother had died(I know it's cliche. Get over it.), or that the king literally told him nothing about how to rule a kingdom while he drank himself to death. And so, at the age of 19, he was completely and utterly alone, except for his younger brother, whom he loved very much.
The(now)king's name was Daniel, and his younger brother was called Sam, short for- you guessed it- Samantha. Don't ask why, his dad was drunk. I don't know why I'm telling you their names like three paragraphs in. I couldn't fit them anywhere else, I guess. So anyway, Daniel was doing kingly things, like signing documents, meeting with important people, sitting on the throne, and taking a walk in the garden. Oh, wait, that last one wasn't- whatever, let's hope he meets a pretty girl.
Sam was pretending he wasn't 12, trying to be as adulty as possible. Unfortunately, he was doing a very poor job. Yes, I did just try to cram his age in. Is adulty even a word? Well, it has red squgglies under it, so I guess not. Back to the main protagonist!
Daniel was strolling outside, admiring the flowers. Suddenly, he met a pretty girl, just like we predicted in the third paragraph! Wow, the third paragraph is getting quite alot of attention today. Anyway, the girl was so pretty, I can't even describe how beautiful she was. Or I'm just lazy. You can't decide that because I'm the author, not you. Just imagine a generic beautiful girl.
"Hey,"said Daniel in his awkward- I mean, kingly way.
"Hey," responded the girl.
"You're pretty,"he said. The main character always gets the girl. Right? Right?!
"Thanks," the girl replied.
And so, Daniel went on his way, after boosting the pretty girl's crippling self-esteem. Suddenly, an old man appeared in front of him(i.e., the rose bushes). What's with all these half-hearted attempts at making a plot? thought Daniel, irritated. Well, I can't help it. I made you the main character, so stop complaining. As he struggled to escape the roses' prickly touch, the old man rasped,"King, you must fulfill a quest in order to rule this country as your parents have. You must-"
"Wait, wait. I can't just leave. Dude, my desk is overflowing with official documents."
The old man looked at him."Well, why are you out here relaxing, then?" Daniel replied," I dunno, I just wanted to catch a break from the author constantly-"before his mouth was forcefully shut for no apparent reason. So instead, he said,"MMMMMPHHPH"
Hey, you can't break the fourth wall aloud. They're all just NPC's, dude. The old man continued,"Fear not, when you depart on your adventure, your brother will take the work. He shall be guided by your advisers and ambassadors."
"Uh, no. He's 12." Daniel, you really gotta stop with this "interrupting" business. I know I'm forcing a bad plot on you, but still.
"Really? Oh wait. Is this George of the North Isles?"
"No. Whatever, just give me the quest thingy."
"I thought you didn't want-"
"Yeah, you're right. When you leave, be sure to leave the rose bushes intact."
"Sure thing."
And so, an epic quest was missed, along with a sheep that caught on fire, a greedy merchant, and a certain pessimistic donkey.
