As a child, I always thought life was gonna be easy. However, that was only because I had it easy. Well, from birth to age 11, I did. Once I hit 12 years, I knew it was gonna be hard. That's when your childhood kinda dies out. Reality slaps you in the face with a cold shrill hand. It didn't hit me though. It stabbed me.
I wanna say part of me knew that it wasn't gonna be easy but I didn't. I never knew I was gonna become depressed. The same way I never knew I was gonna become suicidal. It happens to the best of us. It takes a lot to get through it and you're gonna want to go back.
You start remembering stuff. How it feels to do certain things. How good it felt. How much you miss it. How it was your way to dealing with things when there was no one around. But you never talked to anyone, you kept it bottled up and boy that was the best thing to do. Just keeping it in, never knowing when you're gonna break down.
What I'm trying to say is, it's never too late. This goes for everything. Mainly for suicide. I'm not saying do it. I'm saying don't. I know it's rough but you gotta hang tough and trust me, it gets better. If not, then let it out. Cry til you can't no more. Then smile after and laugh. Be happy. That was the best thing I ever did at such the young age I am.
I know what it's like. I've been down that road. God, it's so bumpy. Some have had it worse though. I'm not gonna complain about it, just embrace it. It happened. Just know, the smartest thing I did was not end it.
THE END
