I stared out the window to my bedroom, my bottom sore from the box spring I sat on. I could hear shouting coming through the walls so loudly my room vibrated. Shuffling through my school bag I pulled out my iphone and a pair of pink earbuds, shoving them in my ear I blasted my music as loudly as i could, then flopped down onto my bed. Turning to face the wall I traced over deep scores in the wall with my finger. Sliding my hand under my box spring I grabbed the knife my grandfather had gotten me for my 13th birthday the spring before he passed. Placing the knife against the wall, and dragging it lightly down I slowly created another deep slit in the wall. After creating a few more gouges I replaced the knife under my bed, and decided I needed to leave the house.
I slipped on my tennis shoes and creeped out my room, trying to be as quiet as possible in hoping my aunt wouldn't hear me, she was still shouting at my uncle and I was almost out the door when she noticed me and ordered for me to stop. Taking a deep breath I turned to face her. standing tall and trying to pretend I wasn't horrified.
"where the fuck do you think you are going this time a night?" Her voice was shrill and I fought the urge to flinch.
"out" Fighting to hold my ground I could hear my voice beginning to crack
She visibly tensed and narrowed her eyes at me. "its 6:30, there is no way in hell you are going out" she streaked towards me and I felt myself flinch as she got close enough that I could feel the warmth of her breath. In a flash she grabbed my hair and dragged me back to my room. instead of fighting it I tried to move along with her as to lessen the throb of my head.
I was shoved into the door and and the door was slammed, and locked from the outside. It didn't matter tho, I had mastered the art of lockpicking. I layed there on the floor for a moment, my face was wet with warm tears I hadn't even realized i had shed I wiped it away and pulled myself off the ground trying to recompose myself. Gradually my fear and adrenaline from the moment had faded and was replaced with anger and I wanted to bang down the door and break the walls. For a moment I paced around in my room, so pissed I couldn't decide what to do next. I was so sick of this fucking house.
I paced to the window and lifted it up all the way. Sticking my head out I stared out at the road. then stepped back and began pacing indecisively again.
I wanted out. I wanted to leave. I was so done with this place. But there was nowhere for me to go. No friends house. No family members to rescue me this time. I sat down onto my boxspring. Blinking rapidly I tried to envision where I would go if I left. No place to go. Fuck. The shouting erupted again outside my bedroom, followed by a crash that sounded like glass shattering. I assume it was the shitty vase that has already been replaced 7 times.
Without stopping to think I stumbled to the window and climbed out it, landing rather hard for just a four foot drop. I regained balance and started running. Fast.
