Chapter 3

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by kuhn23

by kuhn23

I told my pastor that I would like to get turned around. I knew that I wouldn't stick to it, thought about it and decided not to do it. I remember everything that i went thought the first time when i gave my life to the Lord and I don't wanna do that again so i said i'm done to everything. Michael will still hurt me the way he did no matter what and he does it because he knows it bothers me. He knows that if he has a girlfriend that is does bother me and I will do anything to get him back but i don't wanna be hurt like that again. I will always be in love with him and he knows that but he knows that no matter what i will never ever take him back because what he did was wrong.

I look at him every morning and think to myself how could I have let him go and fall right into another girls arms like how stupid are you? . I talked that day because i message him on Facebook and asked him if we could stop fighting over something so stupid?, The next day at school he comes up to me and starts yelling at me for no reason, so i yelled right back. We got called to the office that day i was balling my eyes out and had makeup everywhere on my face and tried to clean it before going to see him but for some reason i stopped and thought to myself Why are you doing this just so you can cry again?

It was pointless, he said that you guys can be friends and i said yea okay just so he would still be in my life but he didn't know that I still have feelings for him but he prolly knew and i just thought he didn't. One month went but and we didn't talk let each other having their space and know we are best friends again telling each other everything and anything and we know that if that ever happens again we cant stay away from each other, we LOVE each other but we can't see it right now because he is all about what makes him look good. i went home that night and was talking to Matt telling him everything that had happened in that month and that he still loves me and stuff like that and Matt looked at me and said" silly silly girl he will never love you". I ran out of the room cry and walk into that bathroom and stared cutting again thinking to myself If Matt is saying that then it must be true i mane look at me i have ache all over my face i'm over weight how come someone like him love a girl like me.