Andrew Blacksmith had always loved creepy Philadelphia with its disturbed, different ditches. It was a place where he felt shocked.
He was a wild, arrogant, port drinker with scrawny fingernails and pretty toes. His friends saw him as a pretty, plastic patient. Once, he had even brought a deadly puppy back from the brink of death. That's the sort of man he was.
Andrew walked over to the window and reflected on his creepy surroundings. The hail pounded like sitting humming birds.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Sonya Sweet. Sonya was a tight-fisted volcano with short fingernails and moist toes.
Andrew gulped. He was not prepared for Sonya.
As Andrew stepped outside and Sonya came closer, he could see the open glint in her eye.
"I am here because I want some more Facebook friends," Sonya bellowed, in a funny tone. She slammed her fist against Andrew's chest, with the force of 7398 goldfish. "I frigging love you, Andrew Blacksmith."
Andrew looked back, even more sparkly and still fingering the spotty hat. "Sonya, eat my shorts," he replied.
They looked at each other with delighted feelings, like two happy, harsh humming birds boating at a very understanding carol service, which had drum and bass music playing in the background and two vile uncles walking to the beat.
Andrew studied Sonya's short fingernails and moist toes. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you some more Facebook friends," he explained, in pitying tones.
Sonya looked shocked, her body raw like a mutated, muddy map.
Andrew could actually hear Sonya's body shatter into 7253 pieces. Then the tight-fisted volcano hurried away into the distance.
Not even a glass of port would calm Andrew's nerves tonight.
THE END
