Let's be (more than) friends. Ben x Jeff fanfic

Part one

Ben was in his room sitting criss cross on in the middle of his bed. He was thinking and just about to cry. Ben sighed and got up going to the the bathroom he had in his room and looked at himself in the mirror. Ben took out his blade and rolled up his sleeves. Ben teared up and whispered "you could never love me.." Ben put the blade to his skin and started to cut. By the time he was shaking he has so many you couldn't count. Ben stopped when his whole forearm was covered. He cleaned up the blood and his arm, patched up his arm and rolled down his sleeves wiping his eyes and starting downstairs. Jeff was sitting at the table eating, he looked up and said "hey Ben. What do you feel up to? I'll make it." Ben faked a smile and said " uhm.. Maybe just a sandwich.." Jeff nodded and got up from his seat and started to make Ben's sandwich. Ben sat down and said "thanks.." Jeff smiled and replied "no problem" Jeff has finished making Ben's sandwich and gave it to him. Ben faked a thank you smile and started to slowly eat it. " hey uh Ben, are you ok?" Ben looked up at Jeff and slowly nodded. "I want words Ben." Jeff said sitting down next to Ben. Ben slowly inhales taking a deep shaky breath then saying " y-yes I'm fine.." Jeff rolls his eyes and says "that's a lie." Ben sighs then says "don't worry about it.." Jeff takes Ben's left hand and Ben blushes as Jeff interlocks their fingers. "Come on.. Please tell me.. What's wrong? I'm worried about you." Ben blushes more and looks up at Jeff.
-in Ben's head-
"Oh god why is he so hot?! Ugh! I can't help it I need to tell him.. But.. I can't.. He probably doesn't even like me.. And that's a fact.. I wish he loved me like I loved him.."
Ben sighs then says " Jeff I've just been a bit down with so much on my mind.." Jeff sighs and slightly smiles. "Don't worry Benny. I'm sure things will work out right." Ben nodded and faked another smile. "Thanks for the sandwich.." Ben says letting go of Jeff's hand and frowning. Jeff frowned a little when Ben let go. Hoodie and Masky came in holding hands "hi" Ben says "I was just about to leave.." Hoodie sighs and says "why?" Ben shakes his head and gets up and walks away. Hoodie follows him and grabs his left arm hard. Ben screams in pain so loud it startles Jeff and Masky. "I knew it!" Hoodie says.

((Sorry it was so long! 😰 and I'm sorry if it triggered you it's really sad but I promise it gets better! It does. And if you don't like yaoi then stop reading Bc there is going to be some in here. Thanks for reading I'll post the second part sometime soon. ))