Ryan, Not Riley

Dresses and Skirts for Jeans and Beanies

He knew from a young age, when he was 4, that he didn't like the dresses his mom and dad had put him in. Tyler used to take him out to play in the mud. They used to ride around in Tyler's truck on the back roads. But their parents insisted that Riley wore dresses and flower skirts, not pants and shirts with trucks on them. He loved to be outside and dirty. He hated when his mom tried to braid his hair or put bows in it.

From the age of 9, he wanted to be called he not she. Mom and dad were fine with it, but they didn't support it. No hormones. None. He would eventually get them himself. But for now, he wasn't buying dresses. He was buying jeans and shirts that were just a little too big on the chest so his friends didn't know about his problem. When he'd moved to this small town, he started over. He was able to start over. No one knew that he didn't have a dick like most guys, but he did fit into the group of men who didn't have what was normally associated with them. He fit right in with the guys. He even played sports, and when the ball team changed into their uniforms, he always found a way to sneak into the stalls to put on a binder and change into his loose fitting basketball outfit that he loved.

Another thing that hit Ryan at a young age was that he didn't have a type. You know, men or women. He just wanted an actual working relationship, not one that fell apart like his parents. Of course, that was because of the sheer fact that his mom was with another person before she was with his dad, and that's how Tyler came along. Ryan Just wanted a normal life where he didn't get bullied like he did when he lived up north. He hated it. He hated the fact that everyone knew that he was dickless but was actually a boy. While, yes, down here, there were still extremely homophobic comments, he knew that those would exist anywhere.

Now his senior year was rolling around and soon, he'd be going off to school to get some type of degree that would let him do music for a living, or as a side project. From trucks to music, his brother was always influencing him. He was even extremely nice about the whole 'I'm a boy' thing when it came up. Of course, that was probably because Tyler always wanted a little brother. But that didn't bother Ryan. He knew that he was a boy and that was final.

So as the last bell of the day rang, and he pushed his way through the gym corridor, he watched Jess almost topple to the ground. He grabbed her shoulder, pulling her forward to keep her from falling.

"Woah, I don't want to get hit!" She yelled and he laughed. "They're all monstrous compared to me!"

Jess was a freshman that he befriended through the love of Breaking Benjamin and his friend Travis. She was pretty nice, from what Ryan knew. They always managed to make awkward eye contact in the hall or at lunch, but it was all fun and games.

"You just gotta push through them," he replied, pushing her forward through the older kids. "Push through."

"My shoe! It's untied!"

"Atta girl," he said for some reason. He took his hands off of her shoulder. "Let me be a gentleman and hold your things."

Ryan never took anything besides a bag home. All of his teachers liked him, and none of them assigned homework. He didn't have to bring things home, and today was a prime example of how that was coming in handy.

He took Jess's things from her hand. She propped up her foot and tied her boot. He noticed the Jack Skellington pattern on the inside of her boot, smiling a bit at it. Once she was done, Ryan handed her stuff back.

"I'll walk you out, yeah? With Hunter M. coming here, I'm scared to let you walk by yourself, even if your mom is in the parking lot." Ryan smiled brightly to her, and turned his head a bit, trying to flip his hair.

"Thanks," she replied. "Travis normally walks me out, but he's not here today. It means a lot, really."

She was quiet and shy, for the most part. But she knew a lot about him and it was visa versa. By no means were they "best friends," but there was a lot of stuff that stayed between them that was quit personal.

They left the school, and as they neared her mother's car, he saw Hunter M. watching from a distance. No freshman girl could walk by themselves at this school with him lurking around. It was a scary thought, and that was one of the reasons the girls here traveled around together here. A lot of the boys were scared of him as well. He'd transferred over from another county because of all of the assault charges against him, and he wasn't allowed back in the school system. Sure, he wasn't that scary of a guy physically, but he could ruin a person's reputation in a heartbeat by embarrassing them in front of the whole school without thinking twice about it.

"Thanks," she muttered giving him a quick hug then turning to the car. "Do you need a ride home? I know you normally ride with Travis, but he's not here."

He shrugged. "I don't need one, I can just walk."

"Get in the car, loser. I don't want you to get sick like Travis." She motioned to the car, with her mother in it, motioning for him to get in. "Seriously, please?"

He forced a smile as he opened the back passenger door, at sat behind Jess. He closed the door, put on his seat belt, and smiled. "Thanks, you're the best."

Ryan fixed his beanie, pulling it down. His hair fell into his face somewhat, but he didn't care. Jess flipped through the radio stations, skipping over a couple of religious songs. She finally settled on a song by Bring Me the Horizon. He really liked the song on the radio, but he didn't sing like he normally did. He just wanted to get home and go to sleep because tomorrow, he'd be heading over to Jess's house, just showing up at her front door. They both did it to each other. They just appeared out of thin air and stayed for a while.

It was normal for them. They had a platonic relationship. That was it.

"Hey, man, you just wanna come stay the night with me?" Jess asked. "I know it's that time and you were about to double over in pain during lunch, so instead of going to your house where your parents wonder why you don't act like the Bible gave for people with vaginas, you can just hang at my place and eat all of my chocolate."

Ryan let out something like a giggle because Jess was so blunt about things. "If you don't mind me coming over, then I guess I'll just have to."

"You heard the man, drive straight to our house!"

Itwas settled, he was staying the night with Jess. This always ended up with themstaying up till six in the morning and talking about people at school, such as Travis and Michael. But honestly, this was what Ryan wanted. He could trustJess with his life. He meant that. So maybe Ryan did have a best friend inJess. Maybe he could stop worrying about everything