When Life Gives You Lemon

When life gives you lemons

I sat in a cluster of noise feeling all alone.No one can see me I was invisible.Alone.With my thoughts.I felt his eyes piercing the side of my face making me feel naked,fully clothe.I turned to look at him
maybe he'll stop I thought,but instead he stared as if he was looking through the mirrors of my soul
Yes I said,do I have something you want!
"Yea you do"he said and got up from his seat to sit across from me.
"I couldn't help but notice your so beautiful"
I looked at him tryna figure his game
Well don't you know staring at people is rude,I asked
He stared with a questioning look
I compliment you and all you can focus on is me staring at you,you are a different species.
I hear compliments everyday it doesn't faze me,but thanks
I got up picking up my journal off the table and bookbag off the floor.
Where you going he asked still seated
I'm going away from you obviously! I headed for the exit leading me out the cafeteria.
Chapter 1
I was an only child to a women who could never love me,my face was a reminder of her failers, of her guilt,she loved my step father more than she loved me.He had her so lost she couldn't hear my weeping late at night when she pretended to be sleep.
It started when I was 11 I came home one day early from school my mom wasn't there she worked as a nurse,he was sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand watching a football game,I always felt uncomfortable near him with his eyes on me undressing me,I headed to my room locking the door behind me.
I heard his drunken steps heading towards my door he tried to unlock the door till he noticed it was locked
Tyranny open this fucking door,he yelled banging on the door
I got up from my bed and headed to the door once I opened it he slapped me knocking me to the floor
Do you pay bills around this motherfucker he yelled,standing over me
I laid on the floor fearing he would hit me again with tears running down my face
Get the fuck up he said
I got up slowly wondering his next move,he stood there for a while looking at me as I looked down trying to hide from his eyes
Im sorry you know,I just don't like when you lock the door when your mom not home he said
You scared of me ?
I looked at him and shook my head no thinking maybe that was the right answer
Well come watch this movie with me,c'mon
He walked behind me as I led the way to the living room,I sat on the couch tryna keep my distance from him
Come closer he said staring at me intently
I scooted over to him
You know, tyranny your growing so beautiful
I didn't know how to respond how to act so I sat still,he put his hand over my shoulder and fondle my breast
Kiss me he said
I kissed him and started tearing up,where was my mother I wondered
Can I go to the bathroom please I asked
OK he said staring at me
I slowly got up and walked to the bathroom I closed the door and fell on the floor,in that moment I wanted to die .I heard my front door open and my mom say hi to him.
The next day while he was at work,I decided it will be the best time to tell my mom she sat on her bed with nail polish in her hands doing her nails
Mom Darrell touched me and made me kiss him
She stared at me blowing on her nails
Don't fucking lie tyranny
Mom I'm not,yesterday while you was at work he made me kiss him, I started crying out of frustration
Well if he touched you then you asked for it prancing around this house like a Lil slut
How could you say that I asked
How could you lie like that tyranny she asked with a mocking look
And you better not go to your school telling these lies cuz you know where your ass is going?foster care and in there you'll really get raped.now get the fuck out my face
I walked out and headed to my room locking my door
How can my mother do this to me I thought.
Chapter 2
His name was Jarrod and he became my escape I never told him about my step father and his late nights in my room.I never told him about the times I placed my step father gun to my head and contemplated taking away my misery and most of all I never told him he was my cure and reason for existing.
What you thinking he asked as he pushed me on the swing
Nothing I said
I was 16 and he was 17,high school was ending and I was so happy i had my school chosen so I can get away forever.My mother family I never knew she was a foster child living off the system.My father died while I was in her wound and his side of the family never tried to connect to me because of their dislike for my mother.So I was alone and Jarrod was my only escape from my step father.
You wanna go to my house I'm hungry?he asked
Yes let's go I said we got up to walk up the block to his house he unlocked his door
Ma! Ayo mom!
He stood at the door way
I guess she ain't,home come inside
I walked into his home looking at the pictures of him and his siblings on the walls he locked the door and walked in front of me walking to the kitchen
So you know what school you wanna go to he asked looking in the fridge
Yea I'm thinking Clark university
Damn that's far he said
I know
Who you running from,he looked away from the fridge and looked at me
Who said I was running
Tyranny you think I don't notice how closed up you are,the only person you open up to is your journal
I just stood there staring at him
I don't like people I replied back
You don't like people,he looked back in the fridge pushing things around
You want a egg sandwich?
Sure I said
Ight,why I can't see your journal?
Because its personal jarrod
You don't want me to know how much you love me huh?he cracked a egg in the skillet
Yea that's exactly why
Imma steal that book one day get inside that mind of yours he said smiling, his dimples and eyes shined at me
We'll see
We sat eating our egg sandwich while a cartoon show played.
Ay you wanna see something he asked me
Sure I said
Come with me to my room
He grabbed my hands and led me up the stairs to his door,he opened it and told me to sit on his bed
I sat and looked at his posters and drawings of exotic animals he had a bookcase filled with animals books and comics,a desk with his drawing utensils and drawing pads he was digging in his closet filled with the latest trends of sneakers and clothes he pulled out a drawing book and sat next to me.He flipped through the pictures til he came to a drawing of me in the cafeteria the day we met I had my journal in front of me
You looked so beautiful that day,I never told you ,this is why I was staring at you
I gently grabbed the book from his hand,a tear drop on the picture as I stared at it,he placed his hand on my chin and made me look at him
I love you,I don't know what your hiding from me just know I see you
I feel your pain
He kissed me on the lips and I kissed him back he took the book out my hand and placed it at the corner of his bed. He laid me down staring in my eyes I was ready this was right was all I can think.He pulled his shirt over his head and I unbuttoned mines,he unfastened my button on my jeans pulled down my zipper and pulled my jeans off.
He looked me in my eyes and kissed me
I love you tyranny .........
Chapter 3
Jarrod walked me to my door and kissed me.I went for the keys and my step father opened the door
You see what time it is tyranny?
I'm sorry I said
Jarrod looked at me standing at the bottom of my door stepss
Yes you are sorry,who the fuck is he?
My friend I quickly replied
My step father grabbed me and pulled me into the house closing the door on Jarrod
Go to your fucking room
My mom came out the room
What the fuck is going on?she asked
Your daughter got niggas walking her home
Is this true tyranny?
He's my friend,I love him,I cried
Bitch you don't know love,go to your room
I walked to my room pondering ways to run away .......
That night my step father came in my room,he stood over my bed
You love him?
he looked at me ,and sat on my bed
You don't love daddy?you fucked him today didn't you?
I just stared at the ceiling tears running down my face
I hate you I finally said, I hate your guts,you ruined my life your not my father I hate you
He got up and grabbed me out the bed
You hate me he asked menacingly
I hate you I screamed
I hate you
Shut up before you wake your mom!
I hate you I screamed even louder
While holding me by the neck of my gown he punched me and threw me to the floor
I said shut the fuck up
I heard my mom run to my room
What the fuck are you doing she screamed running towards me
She wouldn't shut the fuck up he said
I felt my body slowly fading I heard my mom repeatedly saying my baby on my gosh my baby
What the fuck did you do
She made me do it,she wouldn't shut the fuck up!
Call the ambulance!
What we gonna tell them ?I'm gonna go to jail !
I can't lose my baby she's all I got!
I thought I was all you had,you wanna lose me?
Call the ambulance please.........
Chapter 4
I looked at her picture,wondering how I couldn't tell.If I woulda known she wouldn't be a memory.
I called her phone the next day after I left her on the steps with her stepfather menacingly looking at me,she never answered,so i went to her house knocked at the door no one answered,she just disappeared.My mom was sitting at the table reading a newspaper in the front was a picture of her smiling
Mom can I see that
Sure,Jarrod,there's this terrible story of this young girl she went to your school,she got killed by her step father
Tears welled up in my eyes and I fell to the floor.
My mom looked at me
You knew her?
I loved her !!😢😢😢😭😭😭😭😭