The Secret Admirer (Valentines Special)

The Secret Admirer

~The Secret Admirer~ (Valentines Special)
dedicated to Fanfic

"I killed her.... I killed my best friend because you love her..."

"I killed you.... I killed you because I loved you.... And if I can't have you for my own, then nobody will..."

~*~

I'm aware that you have many admirers, an admirer that I have no match on. I admit that I'm always insecure to them, I always think that I'll never get your attention whenever they're around. The feeling that you want to kill someone who ever dares to to hold or talk to you.

Every Valentine's Day, you get lots of love notes left from your locker, lots of heart shaped chocolates from your fans and admirers, and your fans always dedicate some songs for you.

And by fans, I meant that your so very popular in our campus since your the captain on our basketball team, your also one of the members in a dance troupe that always get many likes on YOUTUBE.

And I considered my self as your #1 FAN. But I'm different from the other fans of yours in a way that I really don't talk to you and get near you, since I'm a very shy type person. Even if I go to the same college where you're also in and the same class we enter, I just don't have the courage to go near and talk to you.

I just dedicated some songs to you, wrote a love notes for you, buy some heart shaped chocolate just for you but I never tell you my name. I guess you never notice them anyway since you receive so many.

I'm just contented to look at you from afar, to have dreams about you, doodle your name at the back page of my note book, and even make a scrapbook that has a million pictures of you, even though the ones I have were only stolen pictures of you, your still cute in any angle. The front, back, right side, left side, up, and down. It doesn't matter.

I have a best friend. I always talk to her about you, like how cute you are when you smile, how a good dancer you are, and just something positive about you. I guess she has no interest in you since whenever I talk about you to her, she'll just nod or answer me a simple phrase like "yeah".

Every time we cross over, I had this electric feeling flowing all over my body, and a fluttering feeling inside my stomach. I don't know why I'm feeling this way, maybe it's because we have a strong connection.

And I'll never forget that moment when you left your I.D. in your seat, I grab it and tried to catch up with you. But you walk too fast so I just returned it the next day. I just can't sleep better that night, I can't help myself looking at your I.D. picture.

And there's a time when we're in the library you looked at our direction. I think your looking at me specifically since my best friend is reading a book, and she really doesn't care about you at all, I guess. I just thought of it that way since I never saw her appreciating you. Ever.

~*~

The next Valentine's Day had arrived. I prepared a love note, heart shaped chocolate, and a money that I have saved from my allowance just to dedicate 10 songs for this Valentine's Day like I always do.

My best friend didn't come with me, she said she's doing something important.

I sneak in inside the HQ in your basketball team.