Let me just start my story with this fore note, being a vampire is nothing like Twilight or Vampire Diaries, or Interview With The Vampire. Well maybe a little, I never got into vampire stuff so I wouldn't really know.
But what's different is there isn't so much dramatic emotional bull shlit.
The most similar vampire portrayal that I've seen, is Dark Shadows.
Vampirism is all about passion, a little tragedy, and raw bittersweet kisses.
Well not really.
Its mostly sex.
Sex, and murder.
I know that most vampires are idiotic "oh Grod I can't believe I killed him he had a family he was a cop" kind of people, but I love drinking blood.
The sensations that run white hot through your veins, awakening every nerve.
The feeling of nuzzling a soft spot before digging your fangs in, the soft muffled pop of skin breaking, the hot blood that pools around your lips, and trickles down your throat. All together, killing someone is beautiful and raw and probably the best part of being a vampire.
You feel close to their neck, not their past or anything else that is tied to feelings of guilt. Although the first years are rough for feeding, as soon as you let go of your... humane and unnecessary traits, it becomes the most erotic and amazing experience.
Feeding is my favorite part of being a vampire, other than the immortality.
Aging is tricky for vampires, feed to much and you age backwards, don't feed enough and you age faster than humans do. I remember meeting a girl named Jessica, who shared a love for feeding, but had less self control. She over-indulged and became a baby. I shlit you not, she became a baby. She was a chubby, pale, angry looking baby, and her fangs receded meaning she lost her ability to feed. Very sad, she died 2 months in to her state.
It was hilarious.
Vampire deaths are much more common than you think, vampires can be as stupid as a mortals with things like
*cue large sigh*
Parkour.
I've seen the worst of every mortal, vampire and belieber.
Another thing you should know, my nonexistent friend, is that all vampires are sexual. Not hetro, homo, bi, pan, or a, just sexual. If you're with a vampire, they'll probably end up flucking you and then drinking your after-sex blood.
Unless you're utterly hideous. But then again, I'm one of the few picky eaters/fluckers that can keep it in my pants most of the time.
Most of the time.
The first time I ran in to real trouble is when I couldn't keep it in my pants, surprisingly, in 1805.
I was standing at the waterfront, admiring the endless blue-green water, when I heard sobbing from down the pier. My curiosity piqued, I followed the sound which lead me to a boy, 15 years old with looks that would put a model to shame.
He had high cheek bones, dark long hair, minty blue eyes that shone brighter than the sun, and skin as rich and delicious as a hot cup of South Carolina coffee.
I approached him slowly, my tingles down below doubled in strength, and I found it hard to not pounce on the scrawny thing.
I sat next to him on a smooth rock the same coal black as his hair.
"What's got you down, sailor?" I asked. Not the best pickup line, I know, but my tingles were making it hard to focus.
He sniffed the sexiest sniff, and turned to face me. He looked me up and down, his eyes widening in shock, though I wasn't surprised.
"What's your name then?" I asked, staring into his erotic eyes. Yes. Erotic eyes.
"Oh..." He wiped his eyes quickly, drying them.
"Its just that... My engagement was broken off.." He looked out into the water, a shadow cast over his face.
"Her father said that because this years crops didn't flourish and sell as well as he thought, I had no right to her hand in marriage, as if I control the crops." He scoffed.
I continued to stare at him, my tingles growing more and more ferocious.
"Hey there," I said seductively. "Its her loss. You're obviously a one of the kind gentleman." I arched my back in a stretch, and brushed a hair from his face. It was. So. Fluckin. Soft.
He turned and faced me, biting his lip. YEHA SON YOU WANT THIS BODY.
He leaned forward and brought his face halfway to mine, and I closed the gap in a heartbeat.
My lips moved against his, and I pushed my chest onto him, my seemingly 17 year old breasts adding pressure to our embrace.
He pushed me back onto the rock, his hand resting over my hip. I arched my back and bit his lip, pulling him closer.
Soon we both had our clothes off, (thank Glob I only wore a night dress or that would have taken hours) and he was pressed completely onto me.
I grabbed him by the back and pulled him as close as possible, nipping his neck and trailing my hand down, down, down, down. Soon I reached his candy stick, which was surprisingly large. He hissed into my neck, breathing hot air that trailed down my back.
And that's when it all went to hell.
As soon as we were really going at it, (sadly it was non-exotic missionary) and I felt myself about to climax, I saw it.
Or rather, him.
A vampire by the name of Damien Drake. He was well know for being completely insane, utterly bloodthirsty, and to top it all off, he had his goods cut off by another insane bloodthirsty vampire.
So he was no use to me.
But when his eyes locked with mine, I knew something completely batshit crazy was about to go down.
The 15 year old on top of me, was completely oblivious, which made me realize that a 10000+ year old vampire, flucking a 15 year old kid before drinking his blood was kind of pedophile-ish.
Not to mention morally wrong but whatevs.
I tried pushing the kid off of me (why don't I know his name oh dear lord I am a sinner) but he was having none of that.
He pushed me back with more force, pounding me harder, which felt disgustingly good. I cried out as the jagged edge of a rock dug into my as$, splitting the skin. I looked over Kid's shoulder to see Damien turning around, and fleeing.
Wow what the hay bro I'm kind of having troubles here where's the vamp love?
Then I heard it.
Townspeople.
The worst kind of people.
At least 10 men were looking down off the hill at our little scene on the rocks. I felt my cheeks burn, I wasn't embarrassed, but it was a natural threat alarm for vampires.
I cried out again as the same effing rock punctured my cut, which had just started healing. My cry was out of pain, and I was still trying to push Kid off so I suppose what happened next wasn't totally unexpected.
All of the men, plus one notable woman, clambered down the hill to my aid.
They made enough noise to make Poundy MaGee stop and turn, before screaming and scrambling off me.
Now I'd describe what happens next, but when I think about it too much my soul throws up and I don't have my cleaning kit with me today.
Long story short, it was an ambush for Damien and he totally went wild, sparing nobody. Hell, he tried drinking my blood until it poured out black.
