The Lost Diary

Chapter 1 - Anastasia POV

I wake up to another morning of darkness. Slowly opening my heavy eyes, absorbing the same surroundings I have for the last few years.

I pushed my covers away, got up and neatly made my bed.  I opened my antique, hand carved wardrobe, getting out my dusty rose silk gown my mother gave me last year. I got changed and ready in my powder room off the side of my bedroom.

I made my way downstairs to find my mother had made breakfast and was cleaning up the kitchen.

My father was sitting in his black work suit, smoking a pipe while reading the newspaper. I went to help my mother, washing the delicate china.

"Huh, it looks like White Star Line is busy building a new cruise liner. Said to be the best one ever built, it is being built to be unsinkable. Going to travel from England to New York, being called the Titanic, it is" my father said in his deep voice.  A voice that would intimidate most, I suppose that's why he makes a brilliant banker.

My parents were quite wealthy but didn't want to show it, or waste money that could have more value to them in older life. So we live a middle class lifestyle which is still better than most around England.

" That sounds  like a delightful trip, darling. When is it said to be leaving?" My mother asked in her gentle, quiet tone.

"In April 1912, so next year" my father replied. I just stayed quiet, deciding not to get involved.

Once I had finished my breakfast and helping my mother I fetched my reading book and diary. My diary is my life, my everything. It's the only place I can write down all my secrets , thoughts and reminders to myself without anyone else interfering.

It's hard being a woman in England in 1912, we live in a mans world, there's not many opportunities for women, just marry the man your parents pick for you, be a good house wife and raise lots of children. All I've ever wanted to do was to be a successful woman and go to university but everyone laughs at me because it is a ridiculous thought, there is no possibility of it ever coming true. So why hold your hopes and dream about something that isn't plausible. Another reason why I have my diary, nobody can judge me for being me.

" Hey mother, father may I please go to the market and then the library in town, they got new books which I simply must read" I said with a genuine smile on my face. They gave me their approval and I picked up my hand woven basket and place my book and diary in it for my walk.

I finished school last year, so I am a free woman until my father has to choose who I am to marry. I already know he expects me to marry James. A very wealthy, highly educated young man who goes to oxford university. My father thinks he will provide me a very upper- class future, something I'm not to sure if I want. James claims to love me, but we both know that I don't love him even in the slightest. My mother says I'll learn to love him, but the one problem  is that Im in love with another man, Noah.

Noah and I went to school together, he is a lovely man, whom I am truly, madly, deeply in love with and he loves me, for me. He's the only one who knows about my diary, and is there for me and encourages me in every thing I come across with in life. He doesn't treat me with disrespect, he treats me as a human being and not as if I'm some useless woman only made to cater to his needs. But no one knows about our relationship, what we are doing is strictly forbidden but we love each other to much to not chance it and give up on each other.

I'm walking through the market seeing all the yellow flowers, fresh eggs and home made bread just taken out the oven. I couldn't help but fill my senses with everything around me , everything is just so tranquil.

I made my way along the road, on my way to the library, to get some new books and hopefully see my love.

I see all the upper class, highly sophisticated, well educated men walking into oxford university as I'm on my way.

I see James under a tree talking to some lads, most likely his friends. He notices me and gives me a smile and waves. I just act like I didn't see him, I'm not in the mood to talk to that ignorant bastard.

All I want to do is see Noah