When I Was

The only chapter.

I met her when I was ten.

The day was rainy and the marketplace was rather crowded, but somehow. . . I had been able to spot her beauty out of everyone else. Her skin looked paler than the moon, her eyes a lighter green than limes, and her hair was long and the colour of midnight.

She had caught me staring and gave me a smile that changed my world.

Every time I came to the marketplace, I had looked for her, only to get a glance of her from afar. I may try to get closer but she only seemed to get farther from me.

This didn't undermind me. I've had people pushing me away from them my whole life. I knew I didn't deserve to be around a beauty like her.

Until it had been three months. Then my beauty finally approached me. She gave me her name and it became my favourite word.

Angel.

It seemed to fit her perfectly, too. The way she spoke so gently and she acted only kindly towards me, a kid had no true place in the whole wide world. Or the universe for that matter.

Every time I saw her after our first actual meeting, I noted how my heart beat so fast and so easy for her. All she had to do was run her hand over my hair and my heart would go wild. But only for her.

Years passed. I lived with my grandma, and I know my actual family doesn't miss me. But Angel stays with me. My feelings refuse to leave. They only grow stronger as I grow up, and I realize what I feel is true love. Innocent love for the older girl I have fallen for, madly.

I had confessed to her when I was eighteen.

Angel was shocked about my feelings for her, but then she seemed quite happy about it. Our lips met for the first time, and then later, our bodies.

I was very happy. We were very happy. Angel and I moved into a small house near the marketplace. We always woke up to the other's face to greet us, sleeping or awake.

I married Angel when I was twenty.

I couldn't imagine my life without her. It would feel empty if I didn't have my wife. Everything seemed too perfect with her. How could I be without her now? Then I realized life was beginning to show me what life may be without her.

Angel had to go to the hospital.

She was very ill and they took her in for urgent care as a virus began to violently course through her, and break down her beautiful body.

I was twenty-three when I was told to start the funeral arrangements.

Angel knew that she wasn't going to power through the sickness. She already needed a machine to breath and a wheelchair to leave her hospital room. But she was still happy and kind with me. Though our time was being cut short, I knew that she was only making the best of it, and I had to with her. It was the most either of us could do.

Twenty four. I was twenty-four.

Angel looked at me as she sat in her hospital bed. We were holding hands and I didn't have intentions to let go. But I couldn't help doing it when she said it to me.

"I'm not going to make it through the night, my love."

But I didn't want to believe it, so I began explaining my new goal to find a cure for her illness, so we could be together forever. All she had to do was keep her will to live a bit longer.

"I can't do it. . . My time has come."

Her voice began to quiver. I wanted to hit myself for making her upset. Angel reached out for my hand so we can hold one another again.

"I love you, Josphine."

"I love you, too, Angel."

. . . I was twenty-four when I was woken up by the realization that her hospital bed was empty.

. . . I was twenty-four when I was taken by a horrible alcohol addiction.

. . . I was twenty-five when I was able to realize I couldn't face life anymore.

. . .I was twenty-six when I was able to get a gun.

. . . I was twenty-seven when I was able to finally end my own life.

I was twenty-seven when I was reunited with Angel.