Shadow Seeker

Intro

I look deeply into his eyes. Already seeing what I fear to know as truth. One sentence is all it would take to decipher truth from deception. Is this where one looks inside themselves-am I one who would rather know the truth or be naive and untruthfully happy in a lie I let myself weave.

His eyes are very uninteresting. They catch no light, they show no soul. It's a pretty face, but one I would pass on the street and not live to regret never knowing. And the connection I wish myself to feel? Nonexistent, if I am not to kid myself.

I never have been one to skirt the truth when it need not be avoided. Of course, you will probably find yourself thinking of me as a liar. I am. My whole life thus far has been one. I cannot say I regret living such a life, for the way I came about this existence is utterly not my fault.

So I can convince others of my lies, complicating and twisting them into a jumbled mess that sounds so close to truth... Who wouldn't believe it? All who have known my secret have suffered. But think not ill of me, for I suffer right along with them-maybe more, in a way.

This boy I look at means little to nothing with me. It hurts my conscience hardly at all, due to me already having realized he cares for me not at all. But, sadly, I am not willing to take gut instinct on such a case. I've always trusted my gut, always will, but for once-I wish it was wrong. I wish I could lie back, having given my secret to one I trusted-one I loved. For once I would be able to close my eyes, relax, not worry myself with complicated mind games.

Of course that could never happen, as shown by past events, and so I shake my head and come back to the present. (A mind is a wondrous place to get oneself lost in.)

The sun comes down in shimmering rays around the park we currently were meeting up at. This is where I first met him, this is where I'll let him go. I watch the children's running and screaming headlong into a life they do not understand. I envy their naivety, the childhood that I've always longed for.

This boy, Chris, stood out only for his bravado. He had come up and talked to me first. This was refreshing, considering most people's gazes pass right over me.

My blue eyes gaze into his muddy brown holes, searching as he looks back with no emotion. He's a player, it would take little for a blind person to guess such. I steel myself, knowing I'll feel awful about this afterwards, when I realize he (along with the rest of the world) does not care about me. It hurts every time I find this to be true, no matter how much I shouldn't care what the other person thinks of me.

I smile cockily as I ask him.

"So," I say nonchalantly. "Want to keep a secret of mine?"

I start by idly watching his face, but I don't even need that to clue me in.

"Sure, baby," he says after a pause. "Anything for you."

I roll my eyes, turn away, and leave him behind forever.

Now, you might be wandering what exactly just happened, I'm sure he was. You see, his words were lies. I tasted it off his lips, heard it in his voice, read it in his mind. His thoughts correlated something like: Crap! I hope this chick doesn't have some crazy shit she's about to tell me! I wanted to do her!

Maybe you've already figured it out yourself, at this point. Maybe you wonder why this story would need to be read. Maybe everyone has a purpose in life-and mine? My purpose is to save. So here's the truth, read it and tell me what you judge me to be. My name is Lyra and I knew all of this because, well... I'm a psychic.

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Author:
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