keiyani competition entry: 30 ways to piss off the Dursleys!

So, keiyani is running a competition for her story 30 ways to piss off the Harry Potter cast. This is my entry :D

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1. Be Harry potter

2. Be Related to Harry Potter

3. Hit Dudley

4. Be magical

5. Say the word 'Magic'

6. Be related in any way to magic

7. Dress up in robes and chase them

8. Give them glasses of juice, them make the glasses bounce off their heads repeatedly

9. Say anything to Dudley

10. Breathe on Dudley

11. Be related to Lily Potter

12. Set a dementor on Dudley

13. Call Dudley one of Petunias' nicknames for him (Duddykins, etc.) in front of his friends

14. Call him Big D every time you see him

15. Dress up as Mr. Weasley and blow apart thier living room.

16. Make Hedwig make loud noises all night

17. Walk dirt on a floor that Petunia just cleaned

18. Talk to a snake

19. Borrow Hagrid's giant flying motorbike and parade it in front of them, saying "Look, motorbikes DO fly, I told you so!"

20. Boast about the kind of car you drive, and explain to Vernon exactly how it is better then his car

21. Make them pay some crackpot old fool to teach you magic tricks

22. Dress up as Hagrid and break their front door down

23. Then give Dudley a tail

24. Shrink them so they actually fit, them lock all three Dursleys in the cupboard under the stairs, shouting "How do you like it? Huh?"

25. Order Kreacher to pop out at them at random moments

26. Or, order him to tail Petunia around the house, making sure he has dirty feet first

27. Write a Hogwarts letter addressed to Dudley, give it to him (making sure Vernon and Petunia are in the room), hug him and announce how sad you are that your not so little boy is finally growing up

28. While he's sleeping, shave Vernon's mustache off

29. When he asks you about it, innocently change the subject and say "Is it normal for muggles not to have a neck, or is it just you?

30. Give them a plate of ordinary cookies. When they have eaten all of them, smile and say sweetly that Harry and his murdering godfather Sirius baked them especially for the Dursleys.

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Few! *wipes sweat off of brow* That was hard work!

I don't know how you can do so many of these, keiyani!  (and yours are actually good.... mine suck :P)

Thanks to pranxtor who helped my along a little bit when I got stuck... :D

Oh well. Hope you liked :D