My story - Bullying self harm and depression

Hello im going to share my bullying and self harm story with you guys remember this is personal so please dont judge me or hate of anything like that. thanks

ok so I started being bullied when I was in 2nd class the girls used to call me fat and tell me that I was stupid.when I was in first class (going back a year) we had to play games for maths and irish I could never get the answers right every person that I was put with always said I was stupid and I couldn't do anything in 2nd class our teacher was a bit mad she screamed at us every day and told us we were the worst class ever. these group of girls started to pick on me they started kicking me and trying to trip me one girl especially hated me she got her mother to come in one day before the bell rang and her mother started screaming and shouting at me forno reason she asked me was I being mean to the other girl and was bullying her me being the scared 7 year old I was told that yes I was bullying her daughter. when I went in to tell my teacher she told me that it was my own fault and j shouldn't be bullying the girl which I never did I barly talked to her. she got other girls to hate me and pick on me she eventually got my old best friend to be her friend and my old best friend turned on me the bullying got so bad that I had to be moved into the other class away from the girls I made some new friends in the other class im so thankful for them being in my life. In 3rd class my teacher started picking on me if I did something wrong she embarrased me and told the whole class what I did wrong 4th class wasn't a bad year the bullys stopped but I went to my old best friends birthday party the 2 other girls really really hated me we went to the cinema to see the latest harry potter movie at that time I cant remember which one but they told me that they were getting drinks and they said they would get me a drink aswell looking back I shouldn't haven't let them or trusted them but me being the gulible little shit I was let them they went to the bathroom and got the soap in the bathroom and filled my cup with the soap and water they brought me back a drink and I drank it they started laughing at me and called me stupid. that night they called me names made me dress up in stupid coustumes and called me names that night was the worst night of my life when i went home the next day I told my mom I honestly had never seen her cry that much in my life it really upset her which made me really mad. in 5th and 6th class I was called names and teased im not going to go into that in much detail as it brings back too many bad memories. when I went into first year there was girls from my old school in t

2nd year and they started calling me snots and laughed everytime I walked past them I told my year head within a few weeks they stopped and left me alone in 2nd year they started calling me the same name but they stopoed after a week or two. I started being bullied on facebook my people that were supposed to have been my friends one of my friends her boyfriend at the time was at her house he just went up to her house when we were getting ready to go to town I wasnt allowed near him because he threatened to stab me with a stanley knife he wasnt messing thats a long story but he did it to one of my other friends aswell and her brother my friend picked him over me and I had to go home because she decided to go to town with him instead of me anyway they started calling me names on facebook they called me a whore a slut a cow anything they could think of they threatened to get me suspened in school and expelled . after not talking for a few months ..somehow im still friends with them now I dont hang around with them but were still friends one of my supposed 'friends' slapped me across the face 5 times and pinched me really hard and hurt me

I started self harming in 2012 I went through a time where I was really depressed and hated myself completely . I didnt want to talk to anyone I just wanted to be by myself all the time I started self harming because it helped and i could focus on cutting for a while instead of thinking about the bullys or the past or any of that shit. it got pretty bad a few months ago I started wearing more braclets and trying to hide my cuts more I didnt want anyone to see or anyone to find out but my friends did. they were pretty mad at me. they didnt want to talk to me for a while one day in school my class teacher called me out of class and asked me was I ok because I had gotten very quiet in class and I wasnt answering questions as much as I usually was I couldnt mention the self harm or that I was really depressed at the time (I also started starving myself at that time) I told her that I was just tired and that I wasnt sleeping that much. I told my parents that I self harmed a few weeks ago because it was becoming to hard to hide my mom screamed when I showed her my arm and started crying I was brought to the doctors they sent off a letter for me to see a phycolligist the doctor told me that it was all the childhood bullying had lead me to self harm those memories haunt me to this day I still hate myself I hate my body I hate everything about me im going to start treatment in a few weeks I didnt self harm myself for 3 weeks but I've started dojng it in places where people wont see

I've been called a whore a slut been told I need make up because it would make my face look better Ive been called alot of names well who hasnt but I wanted to share my story with the help of my best friend in the whole world and my family I know I'll get through this if any of you guys are going through the same thing It will get better it will be hard im learning that at the moment but it does get better

if your wondering what hppened to my old best friend we haven't talked in a few years but I have a new best friend who is absolutaly amazing shes like my sister and I love her to bits

so remember guys stay strong it does get better I love youa all ♥