Ross You're What?!

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Ross Pov

As soon as Barney dropped me off I ate more than I thought was humanly possible, the powers of being pregnant. I ate through half a box of pizza, six honey buns, nine glasses of orange juice, four apples, and a bag of dried coconuts. Usually I would make TimTim do all the cleaning but he said he had to edit a lot of videos so he would just crash at the offices or Corey's. Not that I mind that much, I was just really tempted to guilt trip him with the old 'You're going to make the pregnant person clean?' line. But then again I'm not that kind of person, and he doesn't know I'm pregnant either.

But to be honest it explained a lot, like my frequent need to use the restroom, and my hair becoming much more thick and luxurious. And why everything smelled a lot more than before, or why I felt more tired than usually and the bloated gut, defiantly the bloating. As I was putting away the glass I just washed my phone went off vibrating like mad. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw the familiar picture of a ginger smiling at me I swiped the screen and held it up to my ear.

"Hey Narwhal" he said I heard a car door shutting on his end

"Hey Maxy, how's Louisiana?" I asked closing the dishwasher with my foot, I hit a few buttons waiting for the piece of junk to start, we seriously needed a new dishwasher. It finally hummed to life sounding like a very big bumblebee, I walked out of the kitchen so I could hear Max better.

"Oh, you'd be surprised how hot it gets down there. I swear my aunt has to be a crazy person, she turned on the heating last night. I had the weirdest dream about being cooked alive though." He said I could only imagen him rubbing his face as he told me about his crazy aunt, that's my Maxy.

"oh please spare me the details, meet any alligators yet?" I asked pushing KP to the side as sat down on the couch, carrying a baby around all day takes a lot out of you. KP decided to paw my stomach as if she wanted the baby to come out and play with her. I stroked her back as Max made a few grunts of strain, I could faintly hear a door hit a wall.

"My crazy aunt has me," he grunts again, I heard a loud thump like he just dropped something "rearranging her furniture again. For the fifth time this week" I heard what might have been a couch being pushed around hard floor. "Sadly yes I have. She has a freaking alligator pond out back where she lets people dump alligators. I found one in the toilet this morning, nearly got me" He said I could barely hold back the giggle. Yes I said giggle, what you going to do about it?

"When is your flight?" I asked feeling really needy all of a sudden, I wanted my Maxy. To compensate I hugged KP, she was fine with it she just licked my cheek a few times. I heard Max grunt again and more furniture made scraping noises as they were pushed around. Kp's ears twitched she started to sniff my phone curiously, I flicked out my pinkie startling her. He sighed and stopped pushing around furniture, or at least it sounded like it.

"About that. Listen Ross they might cancel it if this storm passes by like there saying it will" He said I could faintly hear him running his hand through his hair, he was really disappointed. That didn't help my hormone savaged mind, I huffed and blew air out my nose trying to send my emotions through noises, I heard the apartment door open.

I pulled the phone away from my ear, it was only 9:34 "TimTim you shit!" I called over my shoulder he grunted back sounding tired I heard him kick the dishwasher, he really must have been tired. He rarely kicks the machine. "Sorry 'bout that, TimTim said he wouldn't be back tonight and he just showed up" I said holding the phone next to my ear again, KP was looking over my shoulder probably watching TimTim. The little Traitor, just because he gave you a treat, doesn't mean you have to follow him for all eternity!

"I doubt it" was whispered into my ear, the one I wasn't holding a phone too. If I wasn't still in the first trimester my water would have broke, then the baby would have come out screaming with me. The only thing keeping me from pulling a ninja move on this guy, was the fact that he was holding me in a bear hug. I tilted my head backwards along with my right arm. I flipped him off first then kissed him.

"S.O.B. posing as TimTim" I grumbled as he tried to kiss me again, Max smiled at me and nuzzled my neck. I pushed him away moodily "is this how you treat the mother?" I asked crossing my arms shooting him a death glare, he rolled his eyes and picked me up, I was so used to it by now I didn't even squeak. He sat down on the couch and put me on his lap, I crossed my arms playfully pushing back on his shoulders.

"Kuss Kuss?" he asked twirling a strand of my hair around his finger, I gave him a playful glare. Aw hell no! He just did, ever since he heard I took four years of german he always used it when he wanted something. And after scarring the shit out of me he expects kisses? Hell no.

"kein esel" I said leaning against his chest he pretended to look offended, as he peppered my hair with kisses. "Nein, wir haben keinen Geschlechtsverkehr heute abend Ingwer" (no we are not having intercourse tonight Ginger) I told him poking him in the side, he frowned as he tried to figure out what I said, after he translated he put on a pair of puppy eyes.

"Please?" he asked nuzzling my side, I pushed him away gently and turned, so I was straddling him. I felt nerves starting to get the best of me. What if he hates me? What if he rejects me? What if he thinks that im some kind of monster? I try my best to push them all away, but you can never really get rid of something can you? The seed of worry was buried in my subconscious, just started to bloom as I watered it with my fears. Wow.

Time to lay of the gardening channel.

"Max, Im pregnant" I said smiling, he looked confused for a second, he opened his mouth to speak I cut him off with a kiss. "I took seven test. All positive, so don't give me the 'your high' look" I said he looked dazed for a minute as he recovered from the kiss. I was being more aggressive than usual. Then looked like he was going to ask another question, I cut him off again. "I have Anti-Mullerian Hormone, which means I have a fully functual ovary's and uterus. My parents had it attached to my rectum, so I can create life" I whispered in his ear. I felt the worry blossom wilt up and die, he wasn't running away screaming that's something.

After a minute he finally processed everything and asked "Did you go to the hospital yet?"

I snorted and hugged him "Why do you think I waited for you genius?"

Umm.. Hi! This is my first Mithross and Mpreg, so please don't kill me ;-; But aside from that I would like to tell everyone that I hopefully will be able to update at least once a week, if I don't run headlong into the Writers Block wall -.-' But aside from that do you know that AMH is actually real? I tried to make this as scientifically accurate as I could, but I'm not perfect ;-; so enjoy knowing that this could actually happen

Love- Kitten :3