Crash

A/N this story is told from two peoples points of view, Jackson and Payton. Jackson tells it backwards, Payton tells it forwards.
Jackson l
I trudge through the deep snow, my boots filling with the silvery powder. Branches above sway under the weight of the falling snow. Finally, I reach the tree where I first met her. At the sight of it, I drop to my knees unable to fight off the wave of emotion that overcomes me. I reach into my pocket and pull it out, the small white box inlaid with a pattern of rhinestones, in the shape of a heart. I hold it against my cheek as I sit in the snow, and a flood of memories washes over me. I begin to sob.

Payton

I push my mop of sweat soaked hair from my face as I trudge deeper into dense forest, slowly the clearing begins to come into view. My face cracks into a smile as I move closer and closer. Finally, I reach the opening and duck through it into my favourite place in the world. It's a small clearing full of lush, vibrant green grass and wildflowers in blue, pink, purple and white. Instantly my mood brightens, I feel euphoric, I haven't been here for so long. As I move deeper in I see someone, sprawled on the grass, eyes closed against the harsh sunlight.
"Hello," I whisper, the person sits up straight, I see it's a boy. He has blond hair, falling into his face covering one of his electric blue eyes, which are focused on me.
"Hello," he answers staring into my face. "What's your name?" The whole time he says this his eyes never leave mine, I can't imagine what he's thinking about me.
"Payton," I mumble. "What's yours?"
"Jackson," he responds. "You're beautiful." I smile and see a dark scarlet blush spread across his cheeks.
"Thank you," I breath. "Do you mind if I stay?" He grins and pats the grass beside him. I sit, he begins to talk about his life, dreams, and plans for the future. Then he asks me about myself. As we sit there the sun begins to go down.
As I stand up to leave he suddenly bursts out,"Can I see you again?" I smile and nod.

Jackson
***
Faintly, I see the long white hallway, brightly lit, I hear the babble of voices coming from the rooms around me. My mind spins, her hair, her laugh, her smile. The faint aching in my chest increases until I can hardly breath, as I sit there waiting for, seconds, minutes, hours, I feel as if my arms are the only things preventing me from crumbling into pieces entirely.

Payton

I lay on my back under the tree, the bright sun warming my face and making me squint. Beside me lays Jackson our hands lay linked between us.
"Payton," he whispers, we turn to face each other, we both smile. I love the way he looks at me. Like I'm the only girl in the world. We lie there, staring at each other for what feels like forever. Then he leans in and kisses me. "I love you," he murmurs after we break apart, "I'll never love anyone but you." I smile.
"I love you too," I whisper. "I'll love you forever."

Jackson
***
"Jackson," a calm voice calls, "you need to wake up now." My head is pounding like a second heartbeat, I open my eyes and see the room around me. It's small and white full of beeping screens and monitors. Beside my bed sits a small woman with pale blond hair and ice blue eyes that seem to pierce right through me. "How are you?" she asks smoothing a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Payton," I gasp, "where is she?" Her face changes into a look of pity.
"Jackson, you must understand it was a very bad crash..."
"Where is she?" I scream, I try to stand but immediately feel dizzy after moving only an inch. "Please, where is she?"
The woman shakes her head. "No, not right now, you need rest."
"If you don't tell me I will not rest, I will find her," I threaten, my voice shakes. The woman sighs, then she tells me. At that moment my world crashes down on me, crushing me, my lungs, my heart, leaving me unable to catch my breath, move, think. Payton. Gone.

Payton

"Are you sure you want to drive, it's really icy," Jackson worries.
"Really Jackie, I'll be fine," I giggle. Before we enter, he pulls me close and lightly kisses me. I beam and move to the driver's side. As soon as we get on the road we begin to talk, we could talk forever really. I love his stories, his voice, and love knowing more about him than any other person in the world. I can't believe how in the last year how much we have learned about each other, come to love about each other. I love his smile, his eyes and everything about him. I feel his gaze on me and turn to look at him, studying his bright blue eyes. The color is beautiful, like the ocean I seem to drown in the depths of them. Suddenly, they widen in alarm as I hit a particularly icy patch in the road. I feel the spinning, hear the tires squealing as they attempt to find traction on the slippery earth, I see the fear in Jackson's eyes.
"Payton!!!" he screams. I turn but it's too late, a sharp pain in my temple sends me into unconsciousness, faintly I can hear someone screaming. I know it's Jackson, I want to help him, make him feel better, comfort him, shield him from this. But I can't.

Jackson
***
Floating, I'm weightless, drifting through darkness, for a moment I feel calm, as if the world has ceased to exist. Pain, a sharp stab brings me back to reality, my world spins, my mind whirling, one clear spot against the darkness stands out. Payton, slumped over the steering wheel. A trickle of blood oozing from her temple, scarlet against her pale skin. I want to go to her, but any movement sends my thoughts into a spiral of unidentifiable images. Payton moves, lifting her head, barely.
"It's going to be all right," she whispers reaching for my hand. We sit there, hands linked for what feels like forever. Eventually, her hand goes limp and falls out of mine, then everything goes blank. The harsh reality of the world fading to allow me a few moments of rest.

Carson

I sit beside the narrow bed, watching the faint rise and fall of the girl's chest. She's very pretty, no, beautiful. With fair toned skin, a curtain of glossy black hair framing her heart shaped face. She gasps suddenly, sitting up straight, her luminous, chocolate brown eyes fluttering open.
"Jackson," she moans, "tell him I love him, that I'll love him forever." She slumps back onto the pillows, the beeping of the heart monitor accelerates, her heart racing closer and closer to its last beat. Then it declines, just an occasional interruption from the screaming silence. Before she is gone from this world entirely, before she leaves into the unknown. She says one word,
"Jackson." The beeping stops, not even the odd beat remains. As I sit in silence thinking about Payton, Jackson and their love, I see something, a small square of red paper clutched in her hands.
Dear Jackson

I know I have only a short time left, I know I'm dying. But you're not, you will live and grow, and continue to love. Please don't shut them out, don't do that. For me learn to love again, there are others, others who will replace me. I'm fine with that, just remember, even if I don't come first in yours, you always come first in my heart.

Love Payton

The tears that were threatening to spill over finally do, pouring down my cheeks staining the blood red paper. I never knew either of them, yet the death of this girl still brought me to tears.

Jackson

I hold the crumpled square of scarlet paper, splattered with tears. All I can think about is Payton, trying to remember her. Her laugh, her smile, her hair, her voice, her jokes, her stories. Everything. Trying in vain to never forget her, not even one little thing. I think of times I've had with her. Planting flowers in her garden, sitting under this tree, walking through the park, watching Disney movies together. So many, yet so little. Once again I read the note. The note she wrote while she was dying, her last thoughts of me. She wrote this. I read it over and over. How could I forget her? How could I love anyone but her? I couldn't. I open the small box, nestled in soft fabric is the ring. Payton's ring. The one she never wore. As I kneel in the snow I whisper the same thing over and over. "You always come first in my heart, I will never love anyone but you."

Jackson

I often thought about death, my grandfather's, Payton's, the inevitability of mine. I also thought about how? Why? Why does it seem the kindest, smartest, most beautiful people die? The ones who could have changed the world, who could have saved lives. There seems to be no answer. Just the fact that things happen, even things we don't want. As I sit watching out the window at the snow on the ground, quickly melting in the sun. I can't help but think of the last time I saw her. The way she insisted everything was fine, the way she just assumed nothing would happen. Of course something happened. If only it had been me. I hadn't even been there when she died. My head spins, agony tearing at my chest and mind, leaving me unable to breath, think clearly, or even move. As the tears drip down my face, I clutch my chest. My heart feels as if it's ripping itself apart, creating an unbearable torture. I fall from my chair, dry heaving. It feels as if fire is burning inside of me, the inferno growing and growing. I can't breath. And then as suddenly as it came, it was gone. I could only feel hollow. I felt empty, as if nothing mattered to me anymore. As if everything I loved had burned. There was one thing I knew for certain. One thing keeping me from being completely empty. The fact that I loved Payton.