Just Give Me A Reason (boyxboy)

Chapter 1

Fagot... Disgrace... Gay Bitch... Sissy... Devil Child....

This isn't even the beginning of the book I could write about what I've been called. I'm used to it by now though. I mean like, if there is a hell, this would have to be it. Right.?

Every single morning when I wake up, I ask myself the utter question, "why me.?" Sometimes I just can't think of what my purpose could be on this earth. No one, and I mean no one understands me, no one except my best friend Anthony of course.

What I can't understand is, why am I fourteen years old, completely misunderstood, and alone.? My own family doesn't even understand me. I find that to be fucked up because hmm let's see, their my own family.! I'm different; I get that, but can I get some damn clarity.?

"Marcus, sweetheart it's time to get up." My mother yelled this pleasantly from down the hall.

The shit continues every day of my life because everyone at school has made their own assumptions that I'm gay. More than half of the school is a big ball of dumb ass homophobes. Then there's the other half, including me who supports equality. Something I can't understand (I'm sure you've noticed that I don't understand much about my life.) is the fact that people actually care.! People of the LBGT Community are just as human as the rest of the world.

I feel the need to state my past, but I know that if that happens, I'll never be able to live the shit down. So I just keep my mouth shut, I seem to be good at that.

Every Morning after waking up, I'll always write a poem. If I don't, it throws the focus of my whole day off. My poems are a piece of me, a piece of my heart written onto a sheet of paper.

Someone Once told me that life was a game that we all would have to play.

Then why am I in overtime with another burden each and every day.?

I understand that for the good of life, there's a price we all have to pay.

I've cried so many tears to where the tears have dried.

It seems like as though I will never be able to see a lovable day.

Life is filled with pain and sorrow.

The way that my life is, I don't wanna 'hope' for tomorrow.

Yet and still I have that side of me saying that one day I'll make a way out of no way.

I have my faith held high that when that day comes I'll have nothing but sun filled days.

When I prove all of those doubters wrong.

I'll be the one to say, "I'm the one who finished strong."

As I completed my poem, I got a text from Anthony reading: "You Ready?"

I wanted so badly for my response to be, 'Hell no, kill me instead.' but I rather replied, 'not yet.'

Anthony is my best friend, the person I tell almost Everything to. I love that kid like a brother. I could possibly care about him more than myself even. He's there for me when my mother isn't able to be. He's the only one who's company I actually like.

Today's outfit was nothing special honestly, it's one of what makes up most of my entire wardrobe. Skinny jeans and a V-neck tank top.! I wouldn't be surprised if I had every color v-neck known to mankind.

My style is nothing like the kids at my school. The boys like to where Their clothes too big, and saggy. I feel like it makes them look like a bunch of idiots since they call that 'swag.' I wonder if people actually know that the term swag use to be referenced as 'gay' in the older days.... Then the girls.... It's the school of pregnancy.

"Hunny are you ready yet it's time to go," my mother screamed once more from the bottom of the steps this time.

"Yeah Mom one second.!"

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

Apon my arrival to this God forsaken school, Anthony was outside waiting on me. This was apart of our daily routine, along with us taking every class together.

"Have a nice day Sweetheart.!" My mom blurted from the car.

'Oh not likely,' I replied while waving at her.

I just know it's gonna be the same way it is ev-

"Fagot alert, Fagot alert, Fagot alert, Boo You Fagots." And this is what I mean.

Chris, a 'wannabe' school jock approached Anthony and I. 'You two need to admit it, your both gay and ya love each other. You two are gonna live your little pathetic lives with one another.'

I could see Anthony from the corner of my eye turning pure red. It was obvious that he was upset because the comments were being shot more towards me. Chris is always intentionally making me mad because I don't show Any emotion. Unlike Anthony here.

"You've got a good five seconds to find yourself before I help you. Get the fuck on," Anthony spat at Chris.

Me on the other hand sat there aggravated because I know that I wasn't gonna get mad. I'm too use to it.

"Okay, alright. I'll leave y'all alone... For now," He then glared at me making the comment, "bye sissy."

Anthony then pulled me to our first block classroom mumbling something under his breath.

This is going to be one hell of a long year....

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

Soooooo hey you guys and gals.

It's Antwan here again, I'm happy to be back.!!!

Hope you all enjoyed the first chapter.!

Please feel free to comment, Vote, and maybe fan me.? I don't bite, I promise.! I'll upload again soon.!

I actually have 9 chapters written, I just wanna wait and see if it's worth posting. So please give me you all's feedback.!