Locked Behind The Walls

89th day

How long? How long had it been? Without a clock in a windowless room it was hard to tell.

The room is dim. Nothing but my bed, a toilet, and myself. That's it. That's always how it's been. Just me myself and I. No one else. No one here with me. Just myself.

"What are you talking about Jade? We're here."

The voices in my head won't shut up!

"No no no no it's just me, just me, no one else, just me. There are no voices. Just me, just me."

I mumbled as I rocked back and forth in the corner, holding my knees tightly. Just to think I could be let out at any moment. Any moment they will realize that I'm okay. I'm fine. There's nothing wrong. I'm perfectly fine.

"No Jade. Stop lying to yourself. You're not fine. Why else do you think your here. This is your fault."

"NO! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! NOT MINE! THE ONLY REASON I'M HERE IS BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"No Jade. It's your fault. If you didn't exist neither would we."

"NO!"

"You should just kill yourself. Then this will all be over. We will be gone. Just do it."

"No! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!"

I screamed on the top of my lungs. A guard ran to my room and opened the slot on the door where they serve me food, and medications.

"Jade what's wrong now?"

"I need you to help me! Get me out of here. They won't leave me alone."

I let go of my knees and stood up. I stared walking slowly to the door where the guard was.

"Who's they?"

"The voices damn it!"

I hit the wall and held my face in my hands.

"Jade you need to calm down."

"No! I can't calm down! I need you to let me out. I need you to let me OUT!"

I hit the wall again then fell on my bed.

"Jade. We can't let you out anymore. Remember what happened last time? It's not safe."

"They told me to do it! You've locked me in the same room for months! I've had time to think an- and reflect on my behavior. Look if you let me out. I won't do it again I promise. I just need to get out of this god damn room! Please."

"No, I'm sorry. You're not aloud out."

The guard closed the slot and started walking away.

"WAIT!"

"Jade-"

"please I'm begging you. I can't spend one more minute in this room." 

"I will talk it over with the staff, but I'm not guaranteeing you anything. Just hold tight for a little bit I will be right back. You're lucky that you're one of my favorites." 

He gave me a wink then left.

......

1 hour.

2 hours.

3 hours.

Nothing. He never came back. Did he even ask the staff?

"He forgot about you Jade. You're forgotten. You should just end it. It would be so much easier."