My Disney Bucket List

My Disney Bucket List- Part 3

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit! No one is supposed to know! Damn, damn, damn! This is horrible. I was supposed to go unnoticed throughout high school, graduate, and then spend the rest of my life lounging on the couch. Or if I died before I graduated, then people will just think I quit school and that was that. But no, this guy just had to be standing near by while I was on the phone, talking to my doctor about how bad my leukemia is getting. DAMMIT! That little-

My thoughts were interrupted my Travis saying, "You have leukemia?"

I glared at him, "Yes I do, but you aren't supposed to know. No one besides my family and doctors should know. Why did you have to find out. Why were you even over here in the first place? God!"

"Woah, um, calm down, please. I was just gonna talk to you. I didn't know you were on the phone."

"Damn! Why!" I breathed in, "Okay, okay, I'll try to calm down. Could you please pretend to not know anything about my, um, leukemia?"

"Why? I don't want to pretend."

"Can you just please forget what just happened?"

"Tell me why. I need a good reason to agree to that."

"Damn! Just, ugh, this never happened!"

"I won't pretend like I didn't hear anything unless you give me a good reason to!"

"No! I don't have to tell you anything!"

"Why?! Just one reason why! That's all I ask."

"Fine! It's because no one is supposed to know. I don't want to get sympathy from people I hardly know. I don't want to grow close to anyone. What I want, is to go through high school with no one to make me feel happy or anything like that. If, no, when I die, I don't want anyone to get that feeling you get when someone you care about dies because I know how that feels and how much it hurts. I don't want anyone feeling like that when I die. So there's your reason. Happy?!" I felt tears coming on.

"Abby," he said my name with so much emotion, I didn't know how much more I could take, "I want to help. Please tell me there is something I can do. Anything."

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing to help. I'm already broken, dead even, inside. So there really is nothing to help."

I heard a car beep. I looked around and saw my aunt's van.

"I have to go. Bye Travis."

And with that I left.

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I stared at my light blue walls. I've been doing this for a couple hours by now. Just lying down on my bed, staring into space. I kept on replaying what had happened this afternoon. How someone actually found out my secret. Someone named Travis. The golden-boy of the school. I thought of how shocked he was when he found. I guess all those years of pretending I'm fine, really paid off.

But I mostly thought of how sincere he looked when he said he wanted to help me.

Though I don't want to admit it, that moment when he said my name, it made me get shivers down my back.

I didn't want that. I wasn't supposed to care for anyone and no one was supposed to care for me. It's for the best.

I sighed. Admit it, that boy has an effect on you, a voice in my head said.

No I shall not. I can't have feelings for anyone. He is better off ignoring me and carrying on with his perfect life, I argued.

But you don't want that.

Yes I do.

No you don't.

Yes I do.

No.

Yes.

No.

Yes.

No.

I sighed. You know what, I'm not going to fight with myself. This is pointless.

I got up from where I was lying. I walked to my desk and pulled out a piece of paper that was stashed in a folder.

Instead of concentrating on Travis, I focused on what my doctor had said. I'm getting worse. This was definitely not good.

I looked at the paper I was holding. It was probably the most important thing in the world to me. The only memory left of my parents.

My father's silly, old, Disney bucket list.

I have no idea how this, out of all things, wasn't destroyed in the fire.

I thought hard. This is what my father once wanted to finish, but he didn't even have a chance to complete it. I was deep in my thoughts for awhile. I didn't know how I was going to do what I was about to do, but all I knew is that my father should've have been here to finish his bucket list. But he isn't. I am. And I'm the one who needs to finish the bucket list. I need to finish this before I leave too.

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Travis' P.O.V.

I was in my room lying down on my bed, thinking about what had happened that afternoon. I remember how angry she looked when she realized that heard her conversation. How she just exploded after I asked why she wanted me to forget what had happened. The pained look on her face after her outburst. The way her eyes glistened and her, on the verge of tears.

Something happened to her besides getting leukemia. She said something about losing someone. Maybe she lost a grandma or grandpa. Or maybe another close relative. Maybe a friend. It can't be a parent because her parents always drop her off and pick her up. It might even be a pet.

The point is that she lost someone close and is hurt. I really want to help her, I really do, but the way she acted when she found out that I know that she has leukemia, she won't be wanting anything to do with me ever again.

The only thing for me to do is not tell anyone about what I had learned. It really is the least I could do. She definitely doesn't want anyone to know about her secret and if that's the only way I can help, I'll do just that. 

I sighed, wishing I could do more.

She doesn't want anyone to care for her or love her. I should respect that and leave her alone. But I don't want to. Part of me knows to stay away and give her space. The other part of me wants to go up to her and wrap my arms around her, letting her know that it's okay if someone loves you. Wait, what? Love? Where did that come from? Um, okay, that was a bit weird, but still, I can't decide what to do.

I stood up and walked to my door and closed it. I went back to my bed. I'll sleep on it.

Author's Note:

Well, that was a bit more emotional than normal. Poor girl, doesn't want to be cared for. Poor boy is so clueless of a girl. Well, they'll figure it out I hope. And I'm trying to get a new cover. It won't be great, but I'm trying and I have a little more time to make the cover. So yeah, hope you enjoyed it. Bye!

Sorry before in part 2, I was reminded that I had to put the phone one speaker mode. So just pretend that the phone was on speaker. Thanks y'all!