You're the meaning to my life

Five

Recap:

"I didn't want to repeat the same mistake as I did before so a few hesitant moments later I found myself slipping my black notebook next to his bowl of nuts."

I didn't know what to do after that. I wanted nothing more than to instantly pull that same notebook right back and hold it to my chest dearly but I knew I couldn't do that now. So instead I tried my best to look everywhere else except for the few seats away where a boy I had met just hours ago held my most possessed item in his hands.

My eyes trailed across the liquor shelf as I scanned the bottles one by one distracting myself from the fact that Harry was probably scanning my words the same way right now. Next was the small tv above the liquor shelf which my eyes tried their best to focus on, but after the players felt too small to watch and the green field began to look yellow, I did the worst and focused my eyes back to the main attraction of the whole bar. Harry. Harry and my notebook.

I saw his jaw clench the same way it did when I first laid my eyes on him in the dim lights of this bar. His eyes felt like a game I was watching. They went from left to right every few milliseconds and all I wanted to know was what he was thinking reading the words I began to doubt. After what felt like forever I could see his familiar hands, with two black rings on his middle and ring finger set my black notebook down as I looked up to meet his eyes. It was silent for a few moments. As if the space between us disappeared and the whole bar faded away. We let the silence be. We let it live longer before Harry broke the intensity looking down at the words then back up at me.

"You're something else" he spoke. "You're something else." he almost whispered. I remained silent and he moved closer to me. The number of bar stools between us turned to none as he sat a few inches away and looked at me in a way I hadn't been looked at before. "You're brilliant Julie".

"I'm not brilli-" I started to say before he quickly cut off my attempt to shy away. "You are Julie. You so are, and I really hope you're trying to be modest right now. Because you can't possibly believe that." He smiled. "Thank you Harry". I whispered to a pair of eyes who were now focused back on the small tv above the liquor shelf as if he had not just given me a feeling of melted flattery right around my chest and a compliment that I would never forget.

As I looked at Harry I realised how lovely his presence beside me was. I didn't understand how he had stepped into my world the way he had and I didn't understand how precious the moment felt even when he wasn't even looking at me anymore. I don't think I had ever met a person like Harry. He felt like a special person and I didn't even really know him yet.

All I know is that Harry had made a night full of all the things that make me queasy into a night full of warmth. He made our conversation over the bar stools feel like we were in his living room by the fireplace, and he had made all the toxic drinks we shared feel like harmless hot chocolates, and he made the sound of the booming music and filthy words feel like we were listening to instrumentals, and he made my notebook not feel like a burden I carried around but more like something special I had that no else did. He made a night I dreaded into something special. It was him and he was so very special. It was him who was truly something else.

I just don't want to get attached to Harry. I don't want to assume who Harry is and build up a character I want him to be only to have it all fall down on me one day. I've done that one too many times before.

Breaking me out of my thoughts, Harry slid the book so that it was between us both. "I didn't think you'd keep it." He told me. His long fingers traced over his handwriting. "Love?".

"What made you keep it?". He asked.

"You."