living a diseased reality chapter 1

Hey if you forgot my name's mia and my twins name is ana. My sister and I were born June 1st, 1997. 16years ana and I have been Alive, but if you ask us, it really doesn't seem like we ever really lived. Since we can remember we've been throw from foster home to the next. Never a full year, cause there is always someone sweeter, younger, and more obedient then us. It's like a new couple picking out a puppy or a rapist picking out his next victim. Everything has to be precise and perfect.

My sister strived on perfection. We wanted to be perfect, loved by everyone... everyone, but ourselves. Every new school we went to people would stare and ask us questions, expecting answers we didn't see. They'd tell us:

"Your beautiful"

"So intelligent"

"How are you that skinny"

We are not beautiful. We are not even close, as I look at all the girls and guys in the hallway I realise we are the ugliest thing here. As for intelligent, not as Einstein would be seen. We were just blimps on a screen, Big FAT blimps on the walls. Nobody noticed us and when they do they can't stop starring, yeah people call us skinny because deep down they want us to stop stuffing our faces with regret. We are nothing close to our expectations. We never be perfect and I don't know why we even try any more.

You know school is really stressful, for me, more then ana. I have always hated it. A new school every year. New people. New school. New rules.

I began having issues when I was 9years old. Ana and I'd become friends with a guy, anxy, his name was. He was great had a crush on ana, but later on We'd developed feelings for one another. We dated for 2years. Yeah 4th&5th grade love. Most would say it didn't count, but it's the only love he'll ever feel for someone. When I told him I was leaving he had an ACCIDENT. I watched him OVERDOSE right in front of me. I wanted to SAVE him, but he made me lay with him. You know they don't die peacefully. He had sever spasms, threw up until I saw blood, he screamed for help, but I knew if I left he'd die before I got back and he'd have to die ALONE.

It was a week after school ended, I was now 11and he would never see his teens. The only peaceful thing ABOUT his "accidental" suicide was his last breathe he told me he was sorry. When he passed, I was to weak to leave. I was drenched in his and my tears, his vomit, and blood. I Laid there and felt his warm embrace.

I woke the next morning to his mother's screams. She grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out of the bag demanding to know what I did. I ran out screaming...... and I've been running since.

My sister has never heard the entire story, on how I assisted KILLING HIM. How when he died I let his eyes open to release his soul and I now every time I close my eyes I see his. Would he still be here if I told someone? God, why?

When I was in 6th grade I started seeing him more then ever. He told me to cross over with him. So I drank alcohol until I couldn't stand. I tried to forget him, but emotions just came at their worst. The family I had was horrible. And a drunk teen will recognize that 10fold.

After days of thinking, weeks, even months, I had my suicide planned.

At the end end of 6th, I tried to die. I ran off the deck and into out above ground pool outside the house. Our foster dad knew I could swim, so as punishment he would take me outside and hold me under until I stopped fighting. Lots of times I had to have CPR done. Several cracked ribs later he realized he was doing it wrong. If I died here his secret might be recognized.

I ended up on in a coma, having to take 7th grade year later. Ana refused to do school without me, so she intentionally failed. When I woke she told me we had a new family. He was in prison, for attempted murder, these people don't even know it was attempted suicide......

The new family was sweet, an old women and her husband, they told stories of back than. Made me smile and forget the old life. After a year and a half I was back to normal. Out of the hospital. It wasn't long after though the old ones died . I was going to 10th grade. First family I would miss. Then they gave us back to the wife of the man that went to prison she beat us for months, locking me in the attic where it got so hot I'd passed out dehydrated so severely. Ana called 911and I was kept on an ivy. I was starved, beaten,and tortured, by that women.

Now we have a new family and I'm determined to fix things......