Magic, Memories, and Malec

A Rose By Any Other Name

"O! be some other name:

What's in a name? that which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet"

 - Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare

"Can I change my name?"

Magnus and Alec, their heads bent together low over some revised Clave agreement papers, both looked up sharply. They exchanged a look as Toby stood before them, watching carefully. His eyes went between the two of them as Magnus beckoned him to sit, Alec sweeping Covenant documents into files to clear the coffee table.

"Come on," Magnus said, moving cushions to make space for the boy, who slumped down in the cleared spot.

Now twelve years old, Toby was still small for his age. His curls of blond hair still curved across his forehead. His blue eyes were still just as big and framed by long, dark lashes. But now he looked subtly different. Under his skin, muscles had formed with training, hands both soft with youth but scarred and lined with marks and wounds. His skin was dotted with runes, a tiny shadowhunter already far down his fall into the bottomless pit of Nephilim life. He would never stop falling, and there was no going back now. There was never any going back. But he had changed mentally too. He seemed to walk taller, shoulders back and eyes meeting those of the people he spoke to, no longer looking so scared all the time. He seemed braver, and not just because he almost always had his Carstairs cane clasped in his hand. He was finally in the world he'd always belonged in, and finally had the big family he'd always wanted – not just Magnus and Alec; but Jace, Luke, Isabelle, Clary, and Simon.

"So?" Toby prompted.

"I... I think we'd better have a talk." Magnus said gently.

"Can I?" Toby asked.

"That depends." Alec replied. "Why do you want to change your name?"

"It makes everything difficult." He sighed, sliding down where he sat until his shoulder blades were against the back of the sofa.

"Why's that?" Magnus enquired.

"It just has so many expectations that come with it." Toby explained, sulking.

"What kinds of expectations?" Alec said softly.

"Like, what I'm meant to be. How I'm meant to act." Toby said, and his eyes went to his feet. "I don't think I can ever be what people expect – want – me to be."

"All we expect is that you do what makes you happy and comfortable." Magnus told him comfortingly.

"It's a lovely name." Alec told him. "Alexander never seemed to fit me, but Alec does, and I've grown into the name Alexander anyway. But if you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to stay as Toby."

Toby glanced up, confused, and shuffled to sit up straight again.

"No, not Toby." He clarified. "My last name."

"Ah, okay." Magnus said, comprehending finally. "That's both a lot easier and a lot harder. You have quite a few different options to choose from – none of which would perturb the Clave overly – but it isn't as simple as just filling out a form; and shadowhunters are very precious about names, particularly old ones like Herondale."

"But that doesn't mean it's impossible, especially when you have multiple shadowhunter names to pick from." Alec explained sympathetically. "The Nephilim are a very proud people, and they like that their names set them apart and mean something deeper. They're likely to be far less judgemental if you're just deciding between different shadowhunter family names rather than a mundane one."