I guess I officially won the "I love you mores". You said the day I stopped fighting would be the day you'd start worrying but you forfeited the game completely. It was actually more of a war, our relationship was a war; to get back for our past. I truly believe you wanted me to love you harder than ever just so you could drop me from the tallest mountain. I suppose I wasn't worth the wait, time, effort or anything honestly. I figured it would happen, we have a pattern. We only talk during the winter. I swear the cold has always made us closer but as soon and the season starts to have its closure, as do we. Maybe it's because we just want someone to bring us warmth for a while but once we have a better option it's bye. Sorry you had to "test me out" but then soon realized that my problems were to much to handle. Sorry you were only in it for lust. Sorry I loved your heart and mind more than I ever loved your sexual appeal. Sorry I have crippling anxiety and crumbling depression. Sorry that I wouldn't let you touch me unless you somehow forced me because I'd much rather listen to you talk about your day then have horrible flashbacks. Sorry you lied to me. Sorry you took advantage of me. Sorry I thought you were really going to stay this time. Sorry you don't realize what you did wrong. Sorry I spent almost six months trying to fix what is meant to stay broken. Sorry you want to take the profession as my dad and I looked at you oddly. Sorry I scratched you in my sleep. Sorry I didn't give you more. Sorry I couldn't give what you wanted. I tried so hard to be what you wanted but I realized I wasn't me anymore. I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry. I really wanted to be your everything but I thought about you every second of the day and you forgot my birthday every year but I'll never forget anything. I'm sorry I love you so very dearly. Sorry that the last thing I said to you was "okay". You promised that this time we'd last longer than just the snow, you told me, you promised me, you'd take me to the beach. We will never last all four seasons. We are simply not meant to be. Sorry, that the one time I tried my hardest, it was not enough.
