The Purist

The Purist

To whoever finds this, please, spread this letter as far as you can. The more people that know about this, the better. If I knew about this I wouldn't of done what I did, but I guess it's too late for that kind of thinking now. I better get on with it.

My name is Daniel, I'm 21 and I live in a Rural area of Canada, I won't tell you exactly where because I don't want anyone to come here, It's not safe. I'm a normal guy I guess. I have, well, had a fiancé; Amelia, the most beautiful woman I've ever met, she deserves so much better than me. I live alone with her. We live a very routine life. We both get up, eat breakfast, go to work, come home in the evening, get some food, watch TV, and then go to sleep, and that's about it. The thing is though, the thing that makes me regret what I did the most is, I was happy, she was happy, and that should have been enough.

I guess my story starts on June 6th, It was a day just like any other, me and Amelia woke up together, we ate breakfast together, we went to work, but this time there was a break in the routine. I was asked by a couple of friends to come out for a drink after work. I knew this was a bad idea but my friend Steve wouldn't stop nagging me, “Come on man! You never do anything with us any more now you have the old ball and chain. Anyway, Katy is coming.” he taunted, “Hey man you know that's not cool!” I replied. I always had a crush on Katy since I first met her, but whenever I was single she'd have a boyfriend, and whenever she was single I'd be with a girl, It just wasn't meant to be I guess. Anyway, after Steve's incessant nagging I gave in and decided I'd go out for once. This was my first mistake.

I was wrapping up for the end of the day, when Steve, reliable as ever, bursts into my office shouting “PARTY TIME!”, “ha”, when I look back on it he must've known I wasn't comfortable with this situation and I didn't want to 'party', but the day Steve starts caring is the day pigs fly. So we headed to the bar. There was quite a few of us; Me, Steve, a few of our colleagues, some I knew, some I didn't, and of course, Katy. She walked on here own behind us, shy and reserved, that's one of the many things I always loved about her. 

We arrived at the bar, and in record time, obviously everyone was in a rush to get intoxicated, no surprise there from the degenerates I work with, but hey, you know what they say, If you can't beat them, join them. I finally found out why Steve was so eager today, “Right, I'm buying you all drinks! Why you ask? Because tonight we celebrate, I've been promoted! I'm moving up to head office!” My first thought? “You've got to be fucking kidding me!” obviously I didn't say that out loud but that’s sure as hell what I was thinking. Steve was the lazy good for nothing stoner who only worked to fuel his addiction to intoxicants and had no intention of bettering himself or the company, and HE gets the promotion!? What about me? I work hard every single day! What about Katy? She...and as I thought that I realized that in my suppressed angry state, 3 beers, 6 shots, and 3 double whiskeys had passed. I was more than drunk at this point. Whilst drinking I hadn't talked to Katy much but she'd been there the whole time. I know because she caught my eye every few minutes. “Fuck, she's so beautiful” I couldn't contain my thoughts any longer; And just as I put my thoughts together enough to understand what exactly It was I just thought; “Hey, Daniel”, there she was, Katy, her beautiful blue eyes staring directly into mine, such anticipation for my response, the twinkle in her left eye almost spat anxiety at me, such fragility, such vulnerability. I couldn't help myself. Before I knew it we were falling through a motel door, kissing, biting, touching...and I think you can guess how that ended. I woke up the next morning to an incredibly powerful hangover, and a note lying on the pillow next to me, “I didn't want to wake you, I had to go to work, don't worry I've told them you have food poisoning from the take-out we ate after we left the bar. Thank you for last night, it was amazing, and...well...you were my first. I can't wait to see you again. Katy.”. “What have I done?” I thought; the phrase repeated in my head until I couldn't even make out the words any more, just the sheer panic it induced that shook me to my core.