His entire world was scattered, everyone that he loved did leave, and he was alone, alone with his pain, depression and the feeling of being just a mistake, an error, a useless person. Because of his stupidity he did lose everyone from his parents which he did kill with his betrayal to his small group of friends that leaved him after ruining their life. He felt like a virus that once entering someone's life his only duty would be to ruin it, I am an error and to continue living would mean more pain and hurting others he kept telling himself. Many thoughts were passing in his mind anger, regret, revenge, but one was controlling him, the thought that couldn't even leave his mind for a second, the face of the person that he loved the most, the girl that stole his heart, the one he had sworn to protect, his queen, the light that kept him alive till now, but now he was alone, he did lose her along all the others due to his stupidity. Suicide, that seemed his only escape, he tried alot but he juat thought abt his love.The only way to relax, to see her again, to say sorry, and to leave the world, the world that he did hate, hell seemed to him a better place than this cruel world. He remained hours thinking and at the end he did decide, he would commit suicide tonight in their special place, watched only by the stars above him, the same stars which he did pass nights and nights looking at with her lying beside him, but that was just the past, this time the stars would look at him, look at his life fading away and he was relaxed by this thought. He went to their secret place, the place that did look like heaven on earth, now this place looked just a normal garden full of memories. He lied on the cold ground and looked up to the stars for a last time, then he took his army knife and made the first cut, just below the elbow, not a deep cut but just deep enough to let blood flow, when he did see it he strangely felt happy, happy that this was the beginning of the end, he asked himself if this was real happiness, a feeling that longer he had missed, he made more cuts each deeper than the other till he did reach his wrist there he did make the deepest cut, a cut that did cut all the main arteries, the cut that will kill him, the cut of the end, end of his miserable life , the one that will get him to see her, he was bleeding hard and he did start losing consciousness , still thinking about her till his last breath....
~Sleeping time thoughts
