Hold Tight (Phan Adoption)

Chapter Eleven

Waverly's POV

Coming out to Dan was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I don't know why I was so scared, I guess I thought he would look at me differently. Now I feel like a fool. I suppose it was a good idea to tell them about my parents, even though I am so ashamed. It's so hard to deal with myself sometimes knowing that I was a burden on my mother and more than likely the cause of her death. All I can do is look past it and enjoy the life I have with Daddy and Lion.

I am embarrassed but also relieved that I told them about the Nook incident. It may sound silly but its really embarrassing to admit I've watched their videos. I swallowed my pride and wrote it down anyways. Slowly but surly I've decided to open myself up to social media. Facebook isn't all that great because I don't have any friends, but Instagram is pretty great. Surprisingly, not many people are interested in following the daughter of 'Phan' but the ones who do are so sweet. I guess since Phil put some kind of no hate lock on my notifications I don't see negative opinions. I shamelessly follow all kinds of fan accounts, mostly Joey Graceffa's fans. There are some pretty good ones, and some pretty disturbing ones. Just for kicks, I followed some Phan accounts and I actually really enjoy them. One of my favorites is @ hampsterficmephil. Maddie is so funny, even though I have no idea what a hamster fic is. Lion told me not to look it up.

Today was a very sluggish day at school, Tuesdays always are. Elizabeth moved seats, of course. Everything is back to normal only worse. Elizabeth is all buddy buddy with the popular girls now, I just know she told them everything that happened. Maybe, just maybe, she has a little bit of decency in her body not to out me to the whole school.

I walk straight to my room as soon as I get home, Daddy and Lion must be in the living room. I throw my bag on the ground kick off my shoes. I glance over to my desk and I have to do a double take. There is a huge bouquet of multi-colored rose in a beautiful glass vase. I step over to the desk in awe of the flowers and pick up an envelope addressed to me. I sit in the office chair and open the rainbow colored letter written in black ink.

Dear Waverly Alexa Howell-Lester,

We accept every single one of your apologies. Most of which you didn't even have to apologize for. We are so happy that you've put your trust in us, but we are going to have to build up trust again with you. We understand that this hasn't been an easy life for you, we are here to hold you tight and make it better. We need to be able to trust that you won't hurt yourself anymore. So until we are comfortable and you've proved that you are moved on from this part of your life, we are going to have check to make sure you aren't harming yourself, possibly daily.

We want to make your heart happy like you said.

Don't be embarrassed about the whole YouTube situation, if anything we are relieved that what we do has helped people in need like you once were. You probably don't know that we are very well acquainted with Joey, but I'm sure he would be happy to meet you one day. We will have to invite him over so you two can talk when he and Daniel fly out for the wedding.

We are so proud of you for telling us about your birth parents, we know it must've pained you to have to write those confessions. Please know that there is nothing to be ashamed of. You are not a very bad thing and we are so grateful that you happened. You are our baby, and we are your proud parents.

Thank you thank you thank you for giving up starving yourself. You are so beautiful, its time you believe it. Other people and their nasty opinions are irrelevant. All that matters is your health and your happiness. It might be hard, but don't worry. You've got this, babygirl.

We ask that you try to forgive yourself, you deserve to have this weight to be lifted off your shoulders. So let us restart this letter hoping that you can forgive yourself soon.