Abnormal (Phan AU)

Intro

ab•nor•mal
/abˈnôrməl/
adjective
deviating from what is normal or usual, typically in a way that is undesirable or worrying.

Dans POV
I exhaled and my breath went out as swirls of fog into the dark crisp, cold night.

It was just like every other night. There was the shame, the dissapointment, the anger at my self and at what I was. There was the hope that always failed me.

I don't know why I had hope. What was I even hoping for anyway? That this was going to stop? That one night, the transformation wouldn't happen and I would be a normal human? Well it wasn't going to happen. Ever.

I was stuck like this forever.

Human by day, werewolf by night.

--

It hadn't always been this way. I used to be what passed for normal. When I was a little kid I was like any other one, I had a high pitched voice, and I played outside with the other kids. I was just another usual child.

That was until I turned eight.

I remember the first time I transformed very clearly. That night I had been restless, tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep.

I had just harmlesly gotten out of bed to get a bottle of water for my room, when I heard the tick of the clock signaling that another hour had passed.

I had started to feel a weird sensation in my body. It started in my arm but it spread at a fast pace. I became awfully confused, but since I was only eight years old at the time I hadn't realized that what had been happening should be concerning.

When I had lifted my arm to scratch my face, it felt very hairy and different, which had shocked me. I looked down at my arm, but I couldn't really see anything since it was night time.

Don't be stupid like the other kids Dan, I had thought. Your arm can't be furry, it's past midnight your imagining things.

I looked down again, wanting desperatly to prove my suspisions wrong, but an uneasy restless feeling had started to form. I looked out the window and saw the light from the moon coming in from the gaps of the blinds on the window. I had felt a strong, unexplainable pull towards it, as if I had to go outside and I had to have the light shine down on me. It seemed as if I had two different minds. I had one part forcing me to go outside, and the other part the normal one, was a muddled mess because I didn't know what had been going on.

It was hell.

I couldn't control my own feet anymore. After looking at the moonlight I had lost control of my own body.

My feet carried me to the yard and my arm opened the door to the porch. Pretty soon I was outside just stood there and that's when I looked down and realized. I was a wolf. I didn't even have my own body anymore.

I just stood there and the moonlight that shone down on me felt exactly like tanning at the beach. The moonlight had been sending a warm feeling throughout me, and it had given me energy and strength.

I wanted to scream. I hadn't known what was going on. My eight year old self realized I was not going to get any help, this wasn't school where I could've gone to the teacher because I was confused. My parents wouldn't help me understand either. They never would for anything, they didn't care.

It felt like I was there in that same spot in my backyard forever absorbing the moonlight. My body refused to leave.

The normal part of my mind was a confusing hell of a place. I tried to sort out what was going on but I couldn't, escpecially since I had only been only a young child at the time. The shock, confusion, and frustration was overwhelming and it drowned out the rest my thoughts.

Mabye this is normal, the little me had thought. Mabye this is normal and mommy and daddy just didn't care to tell me.

This isn't normal. Not at all sweetie. You're a werewolf.