We were friends of friends. Kids grew in the same street. Classmates and sitmates.
You were always my partner. You were my tutor. You were my instructor. You were a good friend.
Every time I got bad days, you always try to make it well. Every time I forgot to eat you were faster than an alarm clock on reminding me not to skip meals.
You see, you were everything I wanted.
But then she came. She took you away from me. Faster than I could stand and grab you.
I was confident you wouldn't go with her.
I was sure that our feelings were mutual as equal.
I was sure what you are showing and what I am seeing from you back then are signals that you love me.
Like I Love You.
But then I realized. My eyes only chose the things I wanted to see.
My eyes ignored the scenarios that showed a brotherly love.
My eyes betrayed me.
So I closed my eyes.
And before I could stop myself from opening it, I saw it. Hands holding tight right in front of my very eyes. I saw you smile, a very different one indeed.
You never gave me that smile. You never showed me your most beautiful smile.
You said five words. Words that will always remain as a reminder that I was betrayed by myself.
"This is Ellah, my girlfriend."
The unfamiliar name sounds horrible.
I don't like how your lips move while saying that name.
I don like that name.
And yet, that name was lucky enough to have the chance to portray that one role I always dreamed of.
Maybe my eyes wasn't at fault.
Maybe it was me.
I was greedy. I wanted you all for myself. I grew with you.
Can you blame me if I'd wish to grow old and die with you?
I can't stop myself from depending too much on you.
I was selfish. I wanted more. I wanted all the you for myself alone.
I wanted you to see me too. I wanted you to love me more.
More than just a twin sister.
