My Life Letter

Chapter 3

Expectations...

There is nothing more than expectations.

People cries for it,, smiles for it and hurt for it. 

There is nothing sadder than being expected of so many things.

But the thing is, Why?

Why do we expect? 

And why do it cause a lot to the extent that it will leave a deep scar in our heart?

I remember that night. Yes, It is clear in my memory. 

The horrible shouting and scolding I receive from someone whom I've worked so hard to earn her trust. I remember crying all night but trying my best not to make a sound.  Think that was one of my most terrifying experience in life. A time in which I have given my best but still, I was not good enough. 

"ATE? (big sister in Filipino) What happened to your eyes? " My little brother suddenly appeared in front of me.

"Well... Nothing. May be a bug bit my eyes while I was sleeping." Then I printed a fake smile unto my lips.

"Nah~ I'm sure you cried so hard last night. I heard mom scolding you." So innocent, so tender and gentle.  His voice is so sweet. During that time he is still 9 years old. But I guess he is smart enough to understand what is going on. "Did you two fight?"

"No, off course not. It wasn't like that." I extended my hand towards him. As a signal to come closer. Then he smirked at me.

"I'm sure you did. Then, why are your eyes so puffy? What happened?"

"Nothing, really! Nothing... I guess?

well, you see... She was just disappointed with my test results. I failed!" My eyes turned mushy but then  suddenly I heard a cute laugh.

"wahahahah! For real? But you see, I always fail my exams at school and mom would always do the same. There is nothing new about it. What is it that you need to cry the whole night. Hmm... ADULTS! They even cry for small things, Then you are not an adult at all, you're like a baby." That's what he thought, It was just that small, it was not really a big deal. I wish It is just like that. I wish it was just that simple. I wish I could be as innocent as he is, so I don't really have to be so sad to think that I am growing and many things are changing. That as you grow, the load that is in your shoulder is getting heavier. I wish I can look at things the way he sees it. So that I won't have to cry the whole night for an exam... For a Nursing Licensure Examination. 

"Well then, how about loosing out for a bit? Let us watch Sponge Bob! I'm sure you'll like it. Then you'll forget all your worries." He is right! The best way to overcome this sadness is through laughing.