Stars Between Us

In Which I Hate My Sister - Raven - Chapter 1

And you pray with your knees on the ground/ For the things that you need / With your lust and your greed weighing down/ And you weaken your love... 

~ Willow Tree March ( The Paper Kites )

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"You have a sister," the holograph thundered, its sunken eyes staring me down. 

"I know, Supreme Leader," I replied, meeting his gaze. Snoke had a terribly disfigured face that made me want to wince, but after a few months of training with his guidance, I had become used to it. 

The Supreme Leader's holograph flickered, a ten times larger and more terrifying than in real life. "And why didn't you tell the First Order about this?" 

"I didn't think she'd be an issue," I replied, my lip curling in distaste. "She is, after all, a weakling." I was about to storm from the room before Snoke stopped me yet again. 

"She is a weakling who has received Jedi training from LUKE SKYWALKER HIMSELF!" Snoke thundered. In moods like this, he generally caused mass destruction. Or killed his apprentices.

Thank the stars it was just a hologram. 

"Supreme Leader, if I may add something to this oh-so-innnnteresting conversation," I said, spinning around, "I had no idea she was alive." My temper was flaring and I could feel my cheeks growing hot, a sure sign of my emotions. Snoke would take advantage of that. 

The holograph turned a slight shade of blue and then reverted back to normal. Stupid technology. All the power went to the weapons, of course, but workers here couldn't maintain the simplest of things- a holograph node. 

"Besides," I continued, keeping my anger in check, "I told you before, she's weak. I can crush her like a gnat should opportunity arise." 

"If she were weak," Snoke opposed. "Would she have been apprenticed by Skywalker?"

"The Resistance is foolish and desperate," I replied, almost shouting. "Is this meeting over? This conversation is boring!" 

Snoke waved one massive holographic hand, the sign for me to go. I seemed to have placated him for the time being. With an almost respectful nod, I turned and marched my way down the length of the room and exited it. 

A hand set itself on my shoulder. "How did that meeting go?" a deep voice asked. 

"As well as it could go, Ren," I answered, shrugging his hand off. "What did you think he'd say when he found out that I have a sister." 

"He would have killed you had you not talked your way out of there," Kylo told me. His face was unreadable under the mask, just a blank slate and a menacing voice. 

"I'm good at talking, so what?" I told him, raising my eyebrow. "It doesn't mean a thing."

"See where your loyalties lie before you anger me," Kylo said, a subtle hum around him indicating he was using the Force. 

"They are with the First Order. And at least I have not destroyed all the Order works for, as well as disappointing your mentor," I retaliated, infuriated. Then I stormed away, leaving one very angry Kylo Ren behind. I'd probably find some mutilated computers later, considering the fact that he was prone to destruction. 

Me? I just found something quiet to do, like intimidating stormtroopers. As I passed by the various patrols and troops, I got a few salutes, which I returned with a blank stare. Incredible how well a look could make someone leave you alone. I drew my black cloak more tightly around me and rested my hand on my lightsaber's curved hilt, drawing a bit of reassurance from it. It had protected me for so long. 

When the Resistance has blown up Starkiller Base, I knew about it. I saw it in the sky of my home planet of Bespin. Something inside me had hardened at the moment, telling me that I should have been there, fighting alongside the First Order. 

Thank the stars for the Imperial Star Destroyers that had been lying around, forgotten. The First Order had taken them and had grown again, rising to power and bringing my hopes up with it. 

When they attacker my village, I left with them. I left my family and all that I knew so I could finally show them all. My all-too-forgiving mother. My spiteful father. My perfect, so goddamn perfect sister. 

Leaving was the best thing I ever did. 

I automatically turned down a hallway, a few doors lining the walls. Needless to say, the Order had added a few things to the Star Destroyers- such as oh, say, a weapon of mass destruction. The ship was a beautiful thing, really, since it was large enough to carry a weapon of such size and yet be able to jump light speed. 

Yes, the modifications were absolutely perfect. 

A door gave way under my hand, sliding easily back. It recognized my fingerprint, of course, being my room here on the current base we had. Hopefully I could get a better one when the new base was complete. It was another Starkiller, apparently, but they were modifying it to get rid of its original flaws. Personally, I just wanted a larger room. 

The place I had entered was fairly small in size, the ceiling just a few inches above my head. I decided to just sit for a little while and think. Snoke would want a response as the what I would do with my sister. 

Dammit, Scar, you couldn't have just died in the stormtrooper attack? I thought. Thanks for complicating matters. 

The small adjoining room to my regular room was a bathroom. It was only about nine square feet of space, and that wasn't counting the small sink and shower. I stared at myself in the mirror above the sink, trying to figure out if I even had a shred of Scarlet in me, and if so, where it had gone. When I joined the Order, I traded power for my weaknesses, and I most certainly did not want to see any resemblance to her. 

"Keep it together, Raven," I told myself with a sigh. My reflection stared back at me in the mirror above the sink. Oval face, thin-lipped smile, skin so pale that you could see the veins in my neck. My hair fell down to just a little above my shoulders, framing my face in waves. The blackness of it made my eyes pop. They were blue, blue, blue, intensely so, and I hated them. I hated every single bit of myself. I looked like my mother. My weak, weak, peace-making mother. 

The mirror cracked when I punched it. 

I washed my bleeding knuckles, letting the water from the faucet wipe away the redness. I would have scars there later, but I didn't care. They were just a few more to add to the collection. I would have to call for a clean up crew later. At moment I just want to do nothing more than smash something to pieces. Unfortunately, there was nothing to break in the immediate vicinity. 

The mattress on my bed was hard and lumpy and my knuckles began bleeding again when I punched it. The red made a contrast with the stark white. 

I hated it. I hated all of it. I had plenty of hate. 

That was what made me so powerful.