Journal of the depressed

11/5/15 11:04pm

I don't know why I'm writing this I just am. I feel everything about her still. I've been home for a few hours and I can still taste her lips against mine. I can still smell her scent, almost as if it's glued to my body. I still feel her smooth skin. I feel the warmth of her body against mine. I miss it so much. I just want her in my bed. I always say stuff like that and people always take it the wrong way. When I want her in my bed, I just want her to cuddle with. I want to have my arms wrapped around her. I want her to fall asleep half on top of me. (This is weird but I'm me so please don't judge.) I want to hear the steady pace of her breathing. I want to fall asleep and have dreams about her and then wake up and see that those dreams have come true. I want to kiss her forehead when I wake up. I want to sit and laugh because she will likely comment on how I have terrible morning breath. I want to wake up and have her still be asleep and I can just watch her sleep ever so peacefully and I'll kiss her softly and whisper that I'll protect her. I want to lay in bed an hour after we've both been up, neither one of us wanting to get out of bed. I want to watcher laugh as she looks at my crazy bed head. And then I'll laugh because she's laughing and everything will just be perfect. I miss her scent. I miss her arms around me and mine around her. I miss the feeling of her lips against mine. I miss the warmth of her body when we hug. I feel like I'm crazy for saying all this but I don't care. I want her warm body against mine because her body is so warm it makes me be freezing when I'm not against it. I'm crazy..but I'm in love. I love Clare. I don't know how else to put it. I'd give up almost anything for her. I just want her here. Idk. I'm weird.