Baby, touch me.

Soulmates

I've just been scrolling through my messages on this weird app called 'meow' and tried to reply to most of the messages. Suddenly I saw this one message from a guy called Liam...he made me smile from the word go. Idrk why but he seemed to have the same humor like me. I kept messaging him on this app until we started talking on different apps. We grew very fond of each other and knew he liked me a lot and so did I. I thought he just wanted to have me as a friend in his life and I assume he thought the same...no I know it because he told me a few days or weeks ago. We were best friends! And it was weird because I was being here in England and he lived so far away in New Jersey. We've never met each other and still knew we couldn't live without each other. We were, are and will always be inseparable. My biggest wish was to meet him one day and I was even dreaming about it. These dreams were amazing! Well you must now I've had a disorder which meant I had to go regularly to the doctors but he said he'd only cure me by hugging me. I really trusted him, I really did. I barely told anyone about my disorder but I told him. Idek why I trusted him that much but he was simply special to me and I knew that'd never change...never ever!
So I dreamed of him...in this dream I went to meet him in New Jersey and as I saw him for the first time I just smile and ran up to him. I hugged him so tightly and I felt how glad he was to finally meet me. I was so incredibly happy and I wished I'd never have to let him go. His smile, his appearance, his height, his voice, his smell,his warmth...simply everything about him was so perfect! This made me realize that he's not just a good or a best friend to me! I had a crush on him.
Well, this is the beginning of our story. It seems to be an amazing love story but I can tell that it hasn't always been as wast as it seemed to be.
It was almost 2 years ago as I started talking to him which means I was 16 back then. I've never been in a serious reaction shop before and I couldn't think of a long distance relationship at this time. It was just impossible for me. I mean New Jersey and England is a really long distance! And I knew it wouldn't work out well. I tried to accept it and kind of gave up on the thought of being in a relationship with him. I just kept messaging him as a friend. We got along so well! I was really really glad to have him in my life and I've told him things I could have never told anyone else. We laughed together, we cried together, we trusted each other. And I knew he saw it the same way like me...it went well to the point where it became an obsession for him to talk to me and I felt kind of controlled by him. It really made me confused...
I usually always messages him but school really kept me busy at this time and I'm a very ambitious person. So I started learning a lot..everyone knows year 11 isn't easy at all. I must admit that I didn't have as much time as I used to to talk to him and he probably thought I wouldn't want to talk to him anymore. But that wasn't the case! On the contrary...I loved talking to him
as usual! He was actually the same as usual...he was so kind and sweet! He called me 'mouse' and made me feel worth living. He just seemed to be a bit more sensitive as usual. I knew he had to go through a lot of shit which made him sad and depressed but I was never really sure wether he was depressed because of me or for some other reason. And I knew I wouldn't find it out sometime soon since he's never told me much about his feelings though he trusted me more than anyone else.