Journey through Me

Chapter 1: Reaching Past the Faith

Camden Amora Fields' whole life has been full of ups and downs, starting from the year that he brother died all the way up to her present time. Camden Amora Fields has spent her whole life in the city of San Francisco, where the shining city met her darkest demons. It was a beautiful city, but Camden never captured the full beauty because she never fit in the city life. She didn't fit with her family, friends, or the entire population of San Francisco, that is what it felt like anyways. She just couldn't get her life on the right track and that is all she wanted lately. It wasn't always like that though, she used to be a good girl with a good family and a ton of friends, but all that changed when her brother died of cancer.

She always remembered every little detail of her brother, Frankie, because she basically raised him because her parents worked a lot and when they weren't working they were continuously getting drunk. Camden was constantly watching him, even when he started getting sick. Then one day, she was watching him when their parents went and did their usual partying on Saturday night, when she started to notice that her brother was no longer the boy that he used to be. Frank was starting to develop medical issues such as: puking up blood, difficulty holding air in his lungs, easily bruised, infections, then constant soreness in his body. He just wasn't the same little boy that he had used to be. Frank being sick led to many doctor's office visits, a million different diagnoses, and still no definite answer as to what was going wrong with him. Of course, her parents never listened to what she or the doctors were saying about Frankie because they were too drunk to even realize that he was sick. Since there was no help from the doctors in finding out her brother's condition, she began researching online with diseases that fit the symptoms that he was developing for the past two years. She continued to research for months and everyday Frankie was getting worse, and she didn't know what to do. Camden then decided to take it to her Health teacher at school, then he told her that Frankie might have Leukemia. Camden went to the oncology department at the nearest hospital and talked to the oncologist about her brother's symptoms and how they could help him, the nurse gave her an appointment.

The next day, she took Frankie to the appointment at the oncologists, while her parents sat at home with hangovers, and began the testing to see if he had cancer. Remembering the day is the hardest for Camden, she couldn't get it out of her head.

The day at the hospital, awaiting the results:

When they sat in the room of the hospital contemplating the choice at hand, all she could think about was what her brother was going through at the moment. The tears that rolled down his cheeks said it all: the pain, the hurt, and the chance that he could die from this; all she could do was hold his hand and tell him that it was going to be okay. The part of not knowing whether he was going to be okay of not was tearing her apart. She didn't want to lose Frankie because then she would have nothing but two drunk parents. She didn't want that and she knew that most likely sitting her for three hours would mean that indeed he had cancer and they were trying to figure out how to tell us. Sure enough, about thirty minutes later, they came out and made her worst nightmare come true. Frankie did indeed have cancer and it was advancing faster than any cancer that they have ever seen. They only give Frankie six months to live, which is six months where she has to make the most of it with him. Six months where her life would crumble and break. All she wanted to do was cry, but she couldn't because she had to be strong for Frankie because he was ten and didn't deserve any of this in life. Her parents blamed her for Frankie getting cancer because she was the letdown of the family and was never good enough for them. The thing that made the entire day worse was that the doctors called her parents and had them come in for a meeting since the two of them were underage.

"Son, what do you want to do? Do you want Chemo or to live for six more months without it because it will get worse??" their father had asked.

"I want to live, yes, but I don't want to suffer every day until I die with this. Sure my life has seemed to dwindle in the past two years, but I don't want to continue life with that. I want to live it out for the last six months of my life. I am sorry Mom, Dad, and Camden but this is how I want to live the rest of the life that I have left. Mom, sure you gave birth to me, but after that you were never there, Camden was, she always has been. I still love you though, but don't you now wish that you were there for me instead of being constantly drowned with booze. Dad, you too, all you guys ever do is party, you never once had doctors look at all of my symptoms; you just let it all go. Camden, don't cry, I will be okay, you will be okay, I promise. You are strong, live your life for me. You will be okay and I love you more than words can express, but this is what I want to do," Frankie had said through his tears.

"Little bro, I love you too, and I will live for you every day for the rest of my life, that is my promise to you," Camden had said.

"How could you be okay with this?" their mother chipped in at Camden.

"It is his choice and I will continue to stand right next to him," Camden said.

"Whatever," Camden's mother chipped back.

Every day for the six months following the appointment, Camden wondered when Frankie's last day would be. They never talked about how he would be gone in a few days, or even the next day, for that matter. He continued to support her and go on with his life, that was now in the hands of god. They never once talked about death, or what life would be like when he was gone. Camden stood next to him when he got worse or just needed an ear to talk to. Five months after the appointment on Christmas Eve, Frankie passed away in his sleep, leaving a lifetime of Christmas' in his honor. The day that Frankie died she vowed her life to music and to follow her dreams despite the dirt thrown in her face. Finding her brother dead was her downfall and the stuff that followed added to it. Thinking back every year was the hardest, but Camden continued to do it anyways because it made her feel like her brother was still there.