To Love *The Maze Runner/Newt Fanfic*

To Love Yourself.

~~~Final Author's Notes~~~

Hiii!!! I'm gonna start this off with the Q&A, because I've gotten a few questions in the last chapters that I just wanna answer. So yah, here we go!!

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1. Am I writing a sequel? I got this so many times, ahaha. But yes, I am! To Live, Book 2: The Scorch Trials.

2. WHEN IS THE SEQUEL COMING OUT? The opening and cover are out now, so add it to your library. The Prologue will probably be out in the next few days. I am so excited for it. It's totally new and totally different. You'll feel the difference in the Prologue.

3. Who portrays Brianne? I talked a little about this in one of my author's notes, but I honestly never gave a face to the character. As a reader, I've found that if I can picture myself as the main character and relate to that character, I like the book 100x more. So I wanted each reader to put themselves into my little fanfic. In other words, the portrayal is up to your imagination :)

4. What first inspired this fanfiction? I'm gonna talk about this in a minute.

5. Another popular topic!! When are Brianne and Newt just gonna do it? WHEN IS THE HONEYMOON? I have the chapter already planned out and sadly, it is far into the future. BUT it will happen, I promise. Most likely in Book 3.

6. Are you writing a trilogy? I got this a while ago and I wanted to mention that I am going to write three books. The third title has been chosen but I'm keeping it confidential for multiple reasons. You can take guesses if you want. Hint: it sounds good with the other books. To Love. To Live. To L____. *If I've already told you, please don't comment.*

7. Are you going to follow the exact plot of The Death Cure? I'm referring to something specific. If you've read the books you know, if you haven't then you're in for a surprise!! I plan on following the books chapter by chapter. But I also plan on writing my own interpretation of the plot, so take that as you will. ;)

8. Is Jaren *Janson and Karen* a thing? Everyone since like chapter 15 has been asking this and commenting this, haha. I will say that although there is no actual relationship, they do have a weird thing going on. I think Karen likes him more than he likes her. BUT people change and I do plan on writing more of their "thing" in upcoming chapters.

OKAY, that's a few of the most popular questions I've gotten, but I am always willing to answer more, so feel free to leave them in the comments.

NOW FOR THE FUN PART!! 1!?1!!

This explains my inspiration for To Love.

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I have wanted for a really long time to talk about To Love, because I feel like the overall point to it got lost at times. So I would really appreciate, if you read what I have to say.

OKAY SO, I never want to write just to write. I want to write to get people to feel something. I want to write stories with morals to them. I never want to write a story that's meaningless.

This fanfiction began with a different name. I thought I wanted to call it "To Run." It was not a bad title, especially since Newt was a Runner and such. But I realized that there were no real moral parallels for that name. (And "To Love" sounded a lot better with the other books I planned on writing.)
Making the book's name To Love gave so much more depth to my story. Because in case I haven't made it clear, To Love was not really about Newt and Brianne's love story, but more so about Newt coming to terms with loving himself. I really wanted to get the point across that Brianne would never make Newt happy nor would she be able to save him from his own sadness. He had to do it himself.

And I feel like that's the hardest thing to do. I mean, I wrote a 67 chapter story about it and I still don't fully get it. But like Newt we have to learn that loving others and having them love you, although important, will never make you 100% happy. There are so many people in this world that are completely adored by everyone they know. And then they're secretly depressed and suicidal. To me that doesn't make sense? Or should I say that it didn't make sense. How could a loved person feel so hated? I felt it. I absolutely hated myself for years and years and years, I probably will always relapse into that self-loathing. So I understand the loneliness.

But its not right. And its not true. Its simply how you see the world. If you hate yourself, you will always feel that others hate you.

I'm only speaking from experience as I say, that nobody will love you like you can love yourself. Because at the end of the day, its you and you alone.

The inspiration for To Love came from my own quest for happiness, back almost two years ago. I had just come out of one of the hardest times of my life. I'd lost most of my friends, I'd lost interest in school and activities, I'd lost ten pounds in four weeks. I'd come home from school everyday and just sob in my bathroom and on my couch for hours and hours. I can't even talk about what caused this, because honestly it was everything and nothing at all. It was the low of the depressed lifestyle I'd been living out for the previous two years.

I remember sitting down and feeling so lost. Then I began writing. I picked the topic of "Newt" (felt appropriate at the time) and wrote down idea after idea for a fan fiction about The Maze Runner. Although Newt is James Dashner's character, I pulled many of his traits from my own personality.

And Brianne. She was the other half of me. I see Newt and Brianne as the two fighting personalities in myself. Newt being the calm, yet sad part. Brianne being the anxious, yet saving grace.

We're all Brianne and Newt to ourselves. That's what I wanted to portray in To Love.

Overall, I believe that nobody is past healing. I believe that nobody is too broken to be whole again. To be whole, you just have to want it for yourself.

"To Love Yourself" is the hardest and yet simplest thing to do, but I promise, it's the most rewarding decision.

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~~~Closing Author's Notes~~~

I hope that everyone has enjoyed this story and I hope that everyone will enjoy the sequel.

I love you all so much. Goodbye for now, Sincerely Brianne.