It's another cold day in the small town of Monterey, California. You have just died. Drowned in the sea after falling of the steep edge of the enormous cliffs. A fisherman has found your, now lifeless, corpse.
***3 hours later***
Everyone is gathered around your coffin. Your family, friends, and neighbors are standing on the freezing damp grass clutching their coats. All of a sudden, a figure captures their attention. Walking around the cemetery is THE DEMENTOR from Harry Potter. Everyone huddles closer together as they stand in a dazed confusion. Believing it is just their imaginations, they all turn to look at your grave. THE GRIM REAPER is standing there. He says nothing. He just stands there looking at the currently empty hole. Everyone takes 10 paces back.
1.... 2.... 3.... 'CRUNCH' Everyone looks back and sees nothing. They resume taking steps back. ...4... 5... 6... 7... 'CRUNCH' The same sound from before has just been heard by everyone. They look around and see nothing. They resume taking steps back. ...8... 9... 10... 'CRUNCH'. They all turn around to see THE DEMENTOR feasting on a ham and cheese sandwich. He notices their gaze and gives a hearty wave. Everyone scurries towards the grave once again. THE GRIM REAPER is now gone. They begin to place flowers on the grave till it is filled to the top with flowers of every sort. THE GRIM REAPER comes once again. He is carrying a small green watering can. He walks towards your grave and waters the flowers. The flowers begin to grow into machetes, knives, pitchforks, torches, chainsaws, and This months issue of "Teen Vogue" magazine! The grave is then filled with dirt. THE DEMENTOR pulls out 2 large stereo speakers and his iPod nano. THE GRIM REAPER then waves everyone to stand upon the grave and motions THE DEMENTOR to start the song....
"...I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it
I'm about to lose control and I think I like it
I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it
And I know, I know, I know, I know
I know I want you, want you..."
As the song plays, THE GRIM REAPER, THE DEMENTOR, and some of their fellow GHOULS, GOBLINS, GHOSTS, and their close acquaintance JUSTIN BEIBER, all danced around the grave.
...And they all lived freakishly ever after. The end.
(Song: I'm So Excited
Artist: Pointer Sisters)
YOU ARE READING
The Freakiest Funeral
Short StoryWhen you have weird friends, they give you bizarre ideas. My friends and I, linked a funny made up story with a funeral. But what is that story? ORIGINAL SHORT STORY. NO COPYRIGHT INTENDED.
